Clean eating BBQ sauce

• Cook 12 oz clean bacon (nitrate free) and save 3 pieces (you can eat the rest!) and remove about 2 spoonfuls of the grease (leave the rest)
• 1 - 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/4 onion, minced
• 1 6 - 7 oz jar (or can) of tomato paste 
• 2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar
• 2 Tbsp molasses
• 1 Tbsp honey
• 3 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce (the cleaner the better)
• .66 cup water 
• .75 Tsp salt Salt
• .75 Tsp pepper

Instructions

After the bacon has been cooked and you've removed the two spoonfuls of grease, use the remaining grease to sautee the garlic and onion. 

Then add remaining ingredients and simmer for 30 minutes.

Turn the heat off and carefully use an immersion blender to make it smooth. If you don't have an immersion blender. Let the mixture cool and use a regular blender to combine into smooth sauce.

Keeps up to 2 weeks in the fridge. feel free to add some heat via hot sauce or peppers!

potty win bed fail

So it took about a week, but J to use the potty!! I don't know how, because it seemed like we were in for a long training period (As with G), but I think we started young enough there wasn't a battle for control. That first week was stressful for sure...but 8/17 he woke up and just had it under control!! I'm so glad. Nap and nights are a different story. And he may get those if we pushed it, but since he doesn't wake up dry in the morning and rarely does at nap time, I figure we'd be in for many nights of changing sheets and after doing it for forever with G, I just want to wait on it for a while. My husband agrees.

Then there is the climbing out of bed incident that just happened. UGH! I didn't think we were there yet.
One major reason for not wanting to sleep-time train him was we wanted to keep him in a crib longer since we know he won't stay in his bed like G did. He's way to adventurous. So we thought we'd bide our time for a while, then rip the band-aid off and do both undies-while-sleeping and staying-in-your-bed training at once.

Guess it's not gonna happen because he popped his little cute head into my room today during nap time!! I instantly felt my heart drop....like, "are you kidding me!?" He looked shocked about it too, so I didn't scold him or anything, just told him to stay in his bed and go to sleep.
I should have just went with my gut and started it this past weekend, as he had started throwing huge fits about wearing a diaper to bed. I just really didn't want to lose sleep. Mom fail.

I'll keep you posted.

In other news his vocalizing is really improving, I'd give him another two weeks before true words come and I'm SO excited for it.

In more other news, we're busy as ever with work, playing, cooking, housekeeping, and attempts at being social...so forgive the lack of creative writing of this post!

Stuff on my mind.....potty, food, and Babies.

Hi, me again!
I'm so stressed on from potty training already and it's only day three. I don't regret starting, I just wish I was stronger. I did pretty well keeping my cool the first two days, but today (With my hubby back at work, and he is clearly my rock) I just lost it. I screamed so loud at J, I just feel terrible. UGh. Pick up the pieces and move forward....
He has to figure it out for himself and I have to be there to guide him...but when he pees two feet from the potty and then runs through it, slips and falls on the wood floor I feel sooooooooo angry... Not with my 20 month old kid....just with the fact of the matter.
As in.... why can't I do this for him? Please nature, just let me take the lead on this one.
If not that, Why can't he learn instantly? If he knows how to hold it, why can't he figure out how to let it go when he's on the potty and not next to it. Why did we have to do the most ridiculous things until nearly 11 pm last night just to get the kid to poop......he was holding it and I just wish I could explain to him how to relax and let it go..... UGH. control. he needs it, I wish I had it, it just sucks.
I have prayed so hard for patience and understanding. I have prayed for God to please just give me a break on this one...but I'm pretty sure God laughs and says, "listen lady, I've given you a break on nearly every other aspect of your life, you have it SO GOOD, this is your cross, bare it with grace."
OK! Thanks God. Easier said than done and you know it! There is a reason for everything. And I am a sinner. I was doing good, but now I'm human and I screamed at my baby. I feel horrible. Sometimes, though, a momma lion roars at her cubs, and ya know what? It's necessary.... but I guess they pee and poop where ever they damn well please. Thanks for nothing domestication.
For all of you out there saying, "oh just wait....he's not ready" .... go back and ready my potty training stuff with G. Same story. My kids are so similar. Thus, we carry on. I made the mistake of trying "kind of" with G and then it took 3 months for her to figure it out when we finally did go through with official potty training, so I'm not making that rookie mistake here. We set a date, knew he was ready enough, and are going through with it, my frustration and patience be damned. And if it takes 3 months anyway, well then I'll have a potty trained 23 month old and be diaper free for the first time in almost 4 years.... I'll take it. This is my blog and I'm ranting about it for a second, sorry.

Onto other things. I wanted to share a few links about food I found interesting. These are things we already do in our house, but maybe you don't know them so check them out. Eat clean is the bomb.
soy is bad for you. 
don't give your kid soy formula for the love of all things holy.
politically correct food myths
 nutrition food myths
I like this cat, I need to do more of these.

thanks to my husband's aunt who posted this article that led me to the website that the stuff above comes from.

And for my final thought, I have been in baby fever mode for a few months now. And I know two moms with kids with CDPX1 are expecting babies! And both of them are having healthy girls. How blessed and wonderful for them!! On one hand, it kind of makes me not want to press my luck since our girl came first, but then it also kind of makes me want to believe a healthy next kid would happen!

My husband and I are just a big ball of nerves and uncertainty when it comes to 'do we or don't we?' because what happens if we get a blood test done and it comes back positive for CDPX1 (or anything thing else for that matter because Lord knows there's a million things that could go 'wrong' when a baby is created).........we'd feel so terrible for choosing to conceive knowing the bad that could come from it.
But then it makes it seem like we are playing God by being too scared of the potentially bad outcome rather than trusting God to make good of whatever happens.
Ugh. It sucks sometimes, being an intelligent being with life experience.
I mean, look at the animals in nature....just reproducing without a fear in the world because it's all they know.... and if it goes wrong.....well.....that's the circle of life.
And look at the newly married couples so excited to have a baby or promiscuous teens having unplanned babies or the older couples trying desperately to conceive using whatever means necessary...........they just want the baby but haven't been slapped with reality (And I pray they never are) that SO many things have to go "just right" for that baby to turn out "normal."
So many pregnancies end in miscarriage because the cells just didn't match up. The body just couldn't do it. Something went wrong. 
So many kids are, through no fault of anyone, born different from what society tells us is 'typical.' And then there are the young kids diagnosed with cancer or diabetes or a disease no one has heard of.... and no one saw it coming.
Taking on the role of parent is one I really think too many people take lightly because they don't WANT to think about it. It's easier to think of all the happy things, because the bad things may never happen...and I definitely think that's the better thing to do. Don't plan for bad until bad happens, generally speaking, because life is too short.
But then there's little ole me. With a crappy X chromosome. So I DO have to think about it. Because that's the responsible thing to do.
How do I grapple with this? I'm sure most people would say.... you have a boy and a girl, be happy, call it quits, move on with your life. And I think that's good advice, but man I feel a huge tug in my heart for another baby. So then adopt you say.... Are you going to give me the thousands of dollars it takes? Are you going to help me get my milk back? Plus, that's kind of like taking an even bigger risk, because God love them, many kids needing adopting often have a condition that may cost a lot of money to treat or may be life long. Does that mean they are any less deserving of love? Certainly not, I'm simply stating it's a decision to be weighed as heavily as the should we conceive our own kid or not.
I guess I also hate being pregnant too, and I hate what it did to my stomach (And am still dealing with all of that mess) so if I AM going to go through it again, I'd rather just not fix it now because it'd happen again... And since I am in physical therapy now trying to fix it, I am trying to decide if I should quit PT and plan to have another baby in the future (not right now or anything, next year or the year after) or if we are just done-done, and get on with the story.... because how long does adoption take anyway? Or maybe we are just full at a family of 4.... I just don't always feel that way.
....but man potty training is a good natural birth control (speaking of, NFP is going much better this time around, thank you very much. Props to my handy Kindara app).
love to you all.