four months old!

Dear G,

You turned four months old this week!! I seriously can't believe how fast this is all going. I'm sure in [what feels like] 2 days I'll be watching you walk across a stage, shaking principals' hands and receiving a diploma. People say it goes by fast, and I'm now one of those people. As I was putting you down for a nap a few minutes ago I thought to myself how soon you'll be eating food, going on the potty, dating boys, keeping me up at night in worry...I'm not ready for that. I'm not even ready for you to start crawling.
As a four month old:

• You weighed in at 13 lbs 4.5 oz, 50%
• You were 26.3 inches tall, 98%
• You can roll to your front and back!
• You have laughed like a big girl on several occasions and it's soooo cute. I can't get enough they aren't just little giggles--they are real laughs!
• You are getting very, very good at holding things and are becoming an expert grabber...even at things laid out in front of you--you go get them.
• You are getting up to eat once a night. This is not very cool because you had been sleeping through the night!
• You go to bed around 7 and fall asleep around 7:30. You eat somewhere between 3:45-4:30, and sleep until 6:30...if I'm lucky!
• You take 3 naps a day, that last about an hour.
• You love being propped up and have very recently started pulling yourself forward. Your abs are getting super strong!
• You still love splashing in the bath and going for walks. You still love books.
• Your new favorite toy is a little pink ball received in your goodie bag from the birthday party we attended last weekend.
• You are putting anything into your mouth- even my chin if I get too close!
• There are still no teeth cutting through, despite the occasional bout of teething.
• You do not like shots.
• You are fascinated by wind and trees. Being outside is a favorite.
• I'm positive you are seeing all different colors now and are showing a preference for pink and orange.
• You are currently preferring your left hand. We'll see how that pans out.

We love you very much!!

#1 Dad

the mug G got daddy for Father's Day

Dear G,

Father's day was yesterday, and as is your dramatic style...we had to stay home from church for the first time since you were born because you were inconsolable in the morning. It was so bad; we tried EVERYTHING known to man to make you feel better / stop screaming and finally we gave you half a dose of baby Tylenol. Last resort. I was walking around on egg shells yesterday trying to avoid doing anything that might re-agitate you after you had calmed down. Your dad and I truly thought you were cutting a tooth...but still no tooth. Grammy said maybe your shots (first ones ever last Thursday) were getting to you. We didn't think that made sense because it was now Sunday, but I'm now inclined to believe agree with her because you just now had another miserable bout of inconsolable crying. It seemed worse than yesterday, but that's probably just because your daddy wasn't here. It's very nice having him around to tag-team with. I hate seeing you cry, and it's even worse when I've never seen or heard you cry so hard...I was on the verge of tears myself. Stupid shots.
Thankfully your daddy is awesome and is such a great help with you. He has been an amazing husband to me for the past two and a half years, but I'll really focus on the daddy things here.

trying to distract you out of crying, naked tummy time

From the day we found out you were growing inside me, daddy has been nothing but supportive and compassionate. He was a little nervous in the beginning and that's understandable! He had a new job and we were in a new place...and now a new baby! Thankfully that new job came with great health insurance so that we could find the best care for you and me. Daddy came to the first ultrasound, even though there wasn't much to see. It was 2 weeks after finding out about you, and I scheduled it around his lunch break. It was July 15th. You were so tiny--all we really saw was a grain of rice until the sonographer zoomed in. There, on the black and white screen we saw your teeny, tiny, beating heart. Bump, bump, bump, bump. It was around 160 beats per minute. You were healthy and growing. Justin became a father and I a mother in that very instant. We left the office excited, scared, and most of all in awe of the gift God was entrusting us with.

Daddy with your 20 wk sonogram pictures

The next few months I saw the kind of father your daddy was going to be to you. He brought me crackers and water in bed when I was nauseous. He told me I was beautiful when I felt fat (still does). He went on walks with me, and talked about all the things we hoped for our little bear. He said countless rosaries for our health. He came to almost all of our pre-natal appointments. He went to the library and picked out a daddy-to-be book. He read the whole thing. He also did, in my opinion, one of the most selfless thing a man of his age could do. He said yes to doing the Bradley birth method! When I told him all about it, and how I didn't want you entering the world medicated...he was on board. He went with me to class every Tuesday night from 7 to 10, from the end of August until the middle of November. That's why it was selfless. Something like 50 hours of birth class, all because I told him it's what I wanted for us and you...he is glad we did though. We learned lots about pregnancy/labor/birth and successfully gave birth to you the Bradley way in February.
We didnt find out what sex you were until you were born. When everyone asked what we thought you were...he knew you were a girl. I did too (I didn't care what sex you were whatsoever.) and that's why we scrutinized over girl names wwaaaayy more than boy names. You have him to thank for not being named: Georgia, Guilianna, Lucy, or Hadleigh...but you may still end up with a sister of one of those names though ;-)
Your daddy wanted a boy--He knows you will still go fishing with him...he just wanted a boy because he didn't want to deal with her (you) dating and being around boys like him when he was younger.
So, daddy was very supportive of us while you were still in my belly. And when it came time for you to arrive, he was calm and attentive. He counted and timed contractions with me. He pushed in on my back where you were pushing out on my back, trying to make me feel better. He got me water and was my shoulder/body to lean on when I got weak.
You arrived and your daddy was right there to announce, "it's a girl!!!" We were so happy you were finally here! Daddy stayed in the hospital with us and was very active from the start. I think I changed like 2 diapers in the hospital. He snuggled you lots and brought me snacks and water.

Father's Day reading!

Your daddy has always been supportive of me breastfeeding you...so much so that I often say, "we breastfeed," when in all reality, I'm the one doing it.
Something that makes you really, really lucky is that daddy started baby work outs with you pretty quickly. This is what I attribute your strength too.
While some may say that dads don't really get involved with babies until the babies can interact with them...I disagree.
Your daddy was counting with you, showing you his fingers, "one, two, three, four, five," and making you aware of your own fingers at age 4 days old. He reads you stories, and sings little songs to you.
We started tummy time early on and he always gently encouraged you to lift your head...now you never put it down. He also was the one who propped you up first and should get a lot of the credit for your stability. Although you aren't sitting unassisted yet, you're very strong!
Yesterday we witnessed you rolling from back to tummy for the first time ever. I was so excited, but your daddy was over excited! Last night he apologized (not necessary) for pushing you so hard. He's very gentle though, not overbearing or anything. He leads by example, modeling rolling and crawling in front of you on the floor. He just sent me a text message asking if you've rolled over today yet. He is currently trying to teach you to crawl.
He just wants you to be the best, reaching your full potential. I think that makes him a great father, and the love he shows you makes him the best daddy I know.

Ps. things that make him a great husband and therefore a great father by default for keeping momma happy :)

• He is a provider; working 55ish hour weeks
• One of my favorites: cleans the shower
• Takes the trash and recycling, does the occasional load of laundry or washing of dishes.
• Mr. Fix-it for all things mechanical, electrical, and home-related.
• He's pretty good at communicating, and tries to say hi at least once during the day.
• He.is.very.patient. Always.
• Listens to me complain, nag, whine and still loves me & doesn't get mad--because he says he knows I don't mean any harm (true)
• Puts up with my hormonal outbursts & tries to offer other perspectives
• Doesn't mind getting dirty and is our official spider / bug terminator
• Takes you from me if I got spit up on me (or worse), and need to clean up
• Gets me water while I feed you, and sometimes I don't even say please!
• He encouraged me to stay home with you
• Takes us to church. 
• Doesn't play video games (holla!) so therefore we are even luckier because he's not distracted
• He believes and acts like things that matter aren't things. This is so important because he knows a lot of people driving new trucks or owning nice homes...but he has us and especially you...and that's all that matters.

Daddy & G Father's Day 2011

Bradley Reunion

Dear G,

Last night was super fun! We went to our Bradley (birthing) class reunion. One of the couples families from our class hosted the get together at their house. There were seven babies, you are the youngest...just like your mom and dad! It was set for a 6 pm start time, and I wanted to get there right at 6 because I didn't know how early we would have to leave due to your crabbiness when bed time gets too late. Of course, we were going into the city and hit bad traffic. We arrived a bit after 6 and two other families were there. We met all the babies, chatted, played, took some pictures, and ate some food. I made broccoli cheddar dip to share; all of the dishes were delicious!

H, I, R, V, K, O, G  |  Girl, Boy, Boy, Girl, Boy, Boy, Girl

When we lined up all the babies for a picture, I realized that even though you are much smaller than many of them now, these are the babies that will be in your same high school year. It seems crazy now, because some of them look like small toddlers and make me realize just how little you still are, but in a few years you'll all be indistinguishable as far as ages go. I wish that we would live here forever so that you could grow up knowing them all. Their parents are great people too. I think it'd be so fun to get together every year for a reunion...but such is our current life situation. Speaking of moving...you dad still can't give us a clear idea as to where or when we will be moving. I'm not good at uncertainties, so it is kind of driving me nuts. I'd like to put roots down, but his job is good and he likes it, so we will do what is best for all of us. Right now, that's staying here.

Another reflection from last night is how involved all the daddies are. I guess that makes sense because it was a Bradley reunion, which is, after all, husband coached childbirth. So if the daddies wanted to be really involved in the pregnancy and birth of their babies, it makes complete sense that they would be really involved dads. I just hadn't given it much thought...but seeing them all last night, with their babies, made me so happy. That is how it is supposed to be. Families are supposed to be a good mommy, an involved daddy, and their babies. Yes, situations arise where that isn't possible, and those are families too...but the ideal situation, to me, is what we saw last night. I hope that later in your life, dear daughter, you find a man who is as good of a husband and daddy as yours is--as good as all those poppas were last night. They aren't scared to change a diaper, they play with their babies, they hold them so the mommas can eat or socialize, they understand their babies needs, they can console them...and be a disciplinarian as necessary. It's not fair for the mommas to be the only bad cop ;-)

Anyways, I'm glad we brought you into this world together and I'm glad the babies from last night got similar welcomings. Thanks to Summer Hill for teaching our class! Thanks to all the families for a great experience!

God Bless all the babies!!!

Oct, Nov, Dec, Dec, Dec, Jan, Feb

In closing, I thought it would be fun to do a little Bradley Fall 2010 personality awards (like in high school):

• Most Likely to Succeed: V, of course I'm sure all the babies will do great things but little miss V seems to have a lot of ambition already. She braved the rough-housing by the boys last night, a sure sign of a winner!
• Best All-Around: O. Such a little go getter who was pretty much always smiling last night!
• Most Likely to be Famous: R, with parents like his and his handsome little face, it won't be long before this boy is on the television!
• Hardest Worker: H, for everything she's accomplished so far and will accomplish in the future, she works so hard to beat the expectations!
• Best Smile: K, seriously, the boy is a heartbreaker already! Gorgeous!
• Sweetest Personality: G, my baby girl is just a lover all around!
• Class Clown: I, for his crazy antics last night, including a high pitched yell and rolling onto R! He also gave my baby girl a kiss on the cheek! He's clearly a jokester if he thinks her daddy will let any boy near here like that. HAHA!

ps. In dramatic fashion, as is your style, you had to have a wardrobe change. I was changing your diaper and you decided to go again! It got all over your diaper cover, onsie, my hand, and the changing pad... good thing I packed another cute onsie for the pictures. Your dad handled most of it after my hand got dirty, so that's sweet of him :-) With Father's Day coming up, I have been reflecting on all that he does for us...and the answer is a lot! I'll write more about him for father's day.

visitors!

Dear G,
We've not had a 'just us' week at home in 3 weeks! I hope that this has led to you being more social and flexible. You're definitely social; the jury is still out on the latter. Your Great Aunt  and Great Uncle came to visit the first week of June. You got some fancy Steeler clothes and bibs :-) It was really nice to just hang out with you and them. I was also able to run some errands sans baby, which is nice for you and me because I got them done faster and you got to play! They stayed in a hotel but they were here most of the time, so you got to snuggle up to Aunt J lots, and you found Uncle's face amusing. During their visit you started really using your hands a lot more. They've become you're favorite play things.

 
They left on Monday, then on Tuesday one of my good friends came to visit us! You smiled at her a lot, and loved it when she held you on her lap.
Then we had 2 days to ourselves!

On Friday, Grammy and my sister came for a visit after being at MU for a few days. They stayed in our living room. You, in my opinion, remembered them! Grammy brought you a new electronic book that makes cool sounds and reads to you. They brought you some clothes. You are so spoiled!


I was able to go work out while Grammy babysat you, then on Saturday my sister, Grammy, and I went shopping and you finally got some much over due alone time with Daddy. He's been working a lot and the two of you needed to reconnect. You've also been getting some daddy play time in the morning. I love watching you two play. You definitely know who he is :-)

In the past few weeks you have:

• Gone through another bout of teething that still produced no teeth.
• Regulated sleep more, got off track, got back on track and are currently on a 3 night streak of sleep ~7:15 pm to ~6 am
• You've been taking 4 naps, usually only fighting the last one.
• You've been squirming more than ever. One morning we even found you 180 degrees from how we put you to sleep!
• Yesterday you began really lifting your legs under your butt in a crawling motion; your arms and upper body are what need strengthening before you'll really be mobile.
• You have also been wanting to stand up when held on someone's lap.
• You enjoy sitting up, but can't pull your self into a sitting position yet.
• You have become like a little adult, with so many mannerisms and expressions, it cracks me up!
• Splashing your legs in the bath is probably your new favorite thing!

Recently this has been our routine:

• Wake up, eat, play, often eat again
• Nap, mommy picks up and I tend to nap here too!
• Wake up, play on the floor & listen to pandora lullaby station while mom does a computer related chore, when I'm done, we'll dance some :)
• Eat and nap (many people would advise against eating before nap, but it helps you nap longer and works out best...so we do it!), I do a housekeeping chore here
• Wake up, usually go for a walk but if the weather is bad, we just play and read stories
• Eat and nap, I usually eat my lunch here
• Wake up, practice talking, rolling, scooting, sitting, holding things (varies day to day)
• Eat and nap, I do something fun here like do the wii or work on a craft
• Wake up, play, bath (every other day), maybe swing, usually daddy comes home! (sometimes it's later)
• Bedtime! :)

You are such a precious little girl and some days I can't believe how lucky I am! Lately when I see a little toddler with her mommy, I get very excited for when you hold my hand and walk along with me. I imagine you'll have blond little pig tails and a cherub little face with a cute but bold voice. You'll have the most adorable everything and while I am not wishing any of this time away...I know that everyday with you is a blessing and I look forward to what the future brings.

father's day card!

I Love Daddy Father's Day 5x7 folded card

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First big trip!

Dear G
Last week we spent some time at Grammy & Papaw's house. I think you had a lot of fun! I'm sure you were a little confused because it was a totally different environment and situation compared to that of our home, but it's good to visit family. I know your aunt was really glad we came, too!

You behaved very well on the plane-nursing or sleeping the whole way. It was a little awkward nursing you nect to a 60 year old man from Birmingham whose son is a baptist preacher... Thank God for hooter hiders. A woman on our way off the plane commented how well behaved you were-she didn't even know a baby was on the plane!
We were picked up by papaw and your aunt. We ate at Crackerbarrel, where you looked around and soaked in the sights while I ate delicious fried apples and chicken n dumplings (not as good as my homemade ones though!). Then we picked up your p&p from great-grandpa's and visited a bit.  You did great in the car until the last hour...you were a wreck and it was sad to see you so upset. Your papaw and aunt got an earful!
When your dad joined us on Friday night, we were both happier! He completes us. He was so glad to see you, he shined his phone light on you as we were sneaking to bed past sleeping you because he hadn't seen you in 4.5 days and wanted to see his baby girl. It was a really sweet moment.
I was pretty anxious about your sleeping habits at grammy's and rightly so. They were pretty ridiculous. Your naps were all messed up and night sleep  suffered a lot. Everyone said to relax because you'd get back on track at home (yet to be seen)...but that was hard because I know how much happier you are when well rested. Eventually I eased up some. You slept in my old room with me (in your p&p), so I'm sure that didn't help either of us.

I helped Grammy with her basement that got water damage during the flood. We all played with you. We went to Tio's. I took your aunt to lunch and marble slab. We visited Mrs. Shelley. You got many new clothes and some new toys. Grammy gave you two baths in the sink!!
You love that a lot! She did too...she really loves having you in her life. You responded pretty well to wearing huggies pure & natural...which treated your bottom almost as good as cloth diapers.
We went to the wedding with out you, but took you to the reception--which means we had to leave early. We missed the cake and dancing--I am bummed about that--but such is the life of a committed momma.
Grammy watched you by herself once and with your aunt another time, and I'm sure you bonded. Papaw watched you for 10 minutes by himself in between the time we left for the wedding and the time Grammy&aunt got home. I was a little worried about that, but he adores you and you just smile and coo back at his silly face.

You took a (pumped) bottle from your aunt & did so very smoothly. It was sweet to see her expression as she fed her little niece. You also took one from Grammy. Everyone got their fare share of diaper changing and snuggle time.

We went to 9 am mass and you didn't really do so great...people said you weren't that bad, but they haven't seen you at noon mass here--you're typically a great baby in church!
You met your great nana and pawpaw, great aunt, and cousin...of course they loved you and enjoyed spending time with you. I'm happy to spread around the G love :)

The extended family came to your aunt's graduation party and I dressed you in a collared red onsie and an osh kosh jean dress...which you promptly spit up on, but it was cute while it lasted!
It was the biggest party you've been too so far, and you behaved as well as could be expected. That many people didn't overwhelm you...just being tired got you crabby though. Your great aunt and uncle took care of you for a good amount of time; they love you so much! I'm pretty sure they'd take you for a whole week if I let them! I stayed with them many times when I was younger, so I'm sure they have an affinity for my little girl :)

We drove through the night hoping you'd sleep and we could get home in good time. I'd consider it a success even though you didn't sleep right away (you were content the first hour) and cried for about 30 minutes and fussed another 30.  I had to put a thick blanket over your car seat to block the passing lights. You get so distracted/stimulated...it's hard for you to sleep anywhere. You are very alert and observant; so it's both a blessing and a curse.
All day Monday your dad and I relaxed with you. It was nice to just be our little family again, and yesterday I wanted to just snuggle you the whole day. I missed having you to myself :)
Two last notes:

after the wedding we attended

Monday night you slept from seven to seven! I'm sure it was because you were so tired from our trip...but if that becomes habit, I'd be very excited!
On the drive back your dad said this: "You know, I really love being a dad. It's really fun."
We're so lucky to have him in our lives...but I did point out that it will get harder by the time you're 14.
I dare you to prove me wrong! ;-)

You're awesome

Dear G,

I want to let you know how awesome you are! I am so proud of you because you took a great nap today--not at home!! We went to visit our friends, Rachel and Justina! You took a nap in her pack & play. You put yourself to sleep and napped for 1.5 hours! I have hope that this means our trip next week won't upset your new sleep gloriousness. You have not been very fussy at all lately; I am so glad that you have returned to your happy and not fussy baby self! I'm sorry your momma's ignorance led you down a fussy overtired mess for a while. You've been going strong for the past week.
Additionally, you have been talking really well lately. Your babbles have lots of different sounds and go on for a long time. You especially like singing along with me or your daddy. I've been singing "Seek Ye First" to you a lot and you really like that. Two days ago you said "dah-dah" but, of course, it was just sounds strung together and not a word :)
You've also crawled yourself sideways, which is pretty cute. You have maybe moved a little forward, but not crawling really...more wiggling.

Now that I have been tracking your sleep patterns, I've also kept track of when you eat. So now when the doctor asks how many meals you have a day, I can actually answer instead of guessing like usual! You eat 6 meals a day. You aren't on a schedule or anything, but that's just what you've put yourself on. You usually take 3-4 naps a day and they are usually 50-80 minutes long. I think you're so awesome for being able to put yourself to sleep and I hope it continues!
I am so proud of the mom I have become and the daughter you are!! Love you litle bear :-)

We're the experts here

Dear G,

playing, May 13, 2011

We had a pretty great weekend, especially as far as sleeping is concerned. Your dad still thinks it's weird that you are sleeping so much now, but that's because you previously stayed up for 3,4,5 hours at a time! That's not at all good for a little baby, I've since learned. So you are both adjusting to that. He still gets to play with you but he doesn't have as much time with you due to work and you sleeping...but he is maximizing his playtime :) You and I get lots of snuggle time and play probably as much as we used to because I'm able to get chores done while you sleep. I think you're in better moods now that you are sleeping well.
You had a rough time getting to sleep on Friday, but slept well Saturday morning. You took decent naps on Saturday and only got a little fussy that evening. Sunday went even better, you took your naps without any complaint (not even the last one, which has heretofore resulted in a small war), and it lasted 3 hours! I think you are finally breaking the cycle of overtiredness that had occurred due to our ignorance of babies' sleep needs. This is wonderful. Last night you slept from 8:10 pm to 6 am, pretty much uninterrupted. You woke briefly a few times, made some noises and returned to sleep. You also went back to sleep until close to 8. I'm really proud of you, but I know this is probably a fluke and expect that tonight will feature the return of our middle of the night wakings.
So, the sleep 'training' I had been doing has kind of given way into more of 'sleep regulating' system I've developed on my own. Your dad and I are the experts when it comes to you, no one ST book or expert can tell us exactly what you need or should be doing. So we've decided the following things:

• You are more of an 8-ish pm bedtime baby, and we start getting you ready around 730. Thus, your 'up for the day' time is around 8-ish am.
• You do best when you eat before sleeping, so the wake/eat/play/sleep routine isn't for you. You are more of a wake/play/eat/sleep gal.
• You usually get put into your crib drowsy, not completely asleep, and you are doing GREAT at falling asleep on your own.
• If you have any trouble getting to sleep, we use "shushing" (white noise principle), placing a hand on you, tucking your blanket around your waist tightly, or if you're hysterical we will pick you up to soothe you and put you back down.
• We will not be attempting a feeding schedule. It messes with supply/demand of breast milk, and it is better for you to eat when hungry only!
• You've started occasionally sucking/gnawing on your hand. I'm a bit concerned it's a bad habit, but at your age we will allow it. You're a smart girl and you will out grow that.
• You totally sleep better at night when you take better naps. I hope it helps you grow strong and get even smarter.

Besides sleep, this weekend we read a different book than normal (peter rabbit), you sat up some with our help, we went to an earlier mass than usual (you got a little grumpy toward the end), we went grocery shopping as a family, and we had dinner at Rigo&Kacie's on Sunday night (fish tacos! Yum yum). You and Theo are super cute together, and Siena likes looking at you both and seeing her interact with her brother or you makes me pretty exited for the time when you are a big sister (not for a while though!!).

G sitting up with dad, May 14, 2011

Hope we have a good week, it's your last one before month 4 starts! :-)

Sleep!

Dear mothers everywhere,
Here is something I am mad about. All throughout my pregnancy I read up on a variety of topics I was under the impression I needed to know about: pregnancy symptoms/care/exercise, labor signs, birth process, unmedicated births, breastfeeding, vaccines, developmental milestones... I thought I was going into mommahood pretty well prepared. Right?
Wrong. With a capital w. Why? Because none-NONE- of you told me I should read up on baby sleeping habits, training, cues. I had always heard that babies do 4 things: eat, sleep, poop, cry. So, I was under the impression that my little bear would sleep whenever he or she was tired, and it never crossed my mind to learn how to help G sleep. I took it in stride that my sleep would suffer and that was that.
Well. Enter last week. An atrocity of a week. I'm looking back and thinking, maybe she wasn't teething? I mean, yeah she's drooling a lot and I can see where the teeth will be...but maybe she just had a cold or virus and was OVERTIRED.
About 2 months ago, a friend mentioned how she swaddled her daughter for naps and rocked her to sleep so that she would nap. I thought that was interesting, because G just slept whenever/wherever... Um, I guess I forgot that my daughter was 3.3 months younger than hers. So when G hit a point where naps were hard and she wasn't sleep well period because she'd wake herself up, I thought...hm, maybe we'll try that swaddle. This was over a month ago and she's been sleeping a lot better-at night. The day time has been a crap shoot for a while. I had no set nap times, no clue when she would sleep; we are feeding on demand & I thought she would just sleep after a feeding (wrong). I also was ignorant to bed time. That same friend (shout out Caroline) said something to me to the effect of, "so when's her bed time?"
What!? Bed time? I didn't think babies had bed times. (see above, I just thought she'd go to bed whenever)
So that little seed planted in my head and it kind of festered for a while...a few weeks later I told Justin that G's bed time would be 9:30. So I worked on making that happen. We'd go about our evening and then around 8 something I'd try to feed her so that she'd be ready for bed and asleep by 930 at the latest. Worked pretty well, except that it affected her days. She developed a bad habit of not really napping, and when she did it was one 2 hour nap or two shorter ones. Then she'd have a witching "hour(s)" between 5-9.  And then there's last week.
Eventually I googled something about babies and sleep and found out about 'sleep training.' Now, I've heard about "Ferberizing" and knew about crying it out, but there are a lot of other ideas out there. When the time comes for drastic measures, I may revisit the crying it out idea...but she's too young for that now, so I'm attempting a method from this book, "The Baby Whisperer." Basically, from what I've gathered, it's teaching G to go to sleep on her own, with a bit of help from me. I do "pick up and put down" to soothe her, since she's technically not able to do it herself yet. I go in her room and pick her up, pat her back/calm her and then put her back down. Then she should magically be asleep. Right. Better in theory than practice so far. I started on Tuesday (11 weeks)...and I'm hoping not to give up, but it's hard.
Regardless, I thought I'd put it out there for all moms to know: babies older than a month do NOT just sleep, unless you're lucky like my friend Kacie.

Momma's day

Dear G

momma's day 5/8/11

Momma's day was on Sunday, and it meant a lot to me this year. Some people think it's just a made up holiday to make greeting card companies money, and maybe it is. Your dad spent almost as much on my cards (don't worry, he had yours covered this year, but next year I expect a handmade one) as he did on my present. But I don't think it's 'just another day.' I never have.

When I was younger, I went in to a jewelry store to find your Grammy's momma's day gift. I had been saving up a lot of money. I looked around but everything I wanted to buy her cost more than I had. The saleslady asked if she could help, so I told her my story. I was there shopping for my mom. 

"oh, is it her birthday?" 

"no, it's for mothers day." 

"but mothers day isn't for another 2 months!" 

I am a planner, something I hope you will pick up. For big events, I plan months in advance. I like to know what's coming, where we're going, who will be there, how much it'll cost, what I'm giving, etc... It saves me the anxiety and stress as the event draws near. It bugs me when I have to rely on other people to finish their plans in order to finish mine. Take a hint from your mom, planning=less stress.

So, the saleslady helped me find a great momma's day gift for your Grammy. I can't say it was the perfect gift, because I wanted to buy her jewelry, but it was the best I could do on my budget. I think Grammy could appreciate that because, after all, she is quite frugal. So the gift cost a little over $70. I didn't have that. Yet. She let me do a payment plan. I paid half then and I would continue to make payments until I had paid the whole amount. It took me the 2 months prior to momma's day to pay it off. I got rides to the store from other people or snuck in while your Grammy was in wal-Mart. When I had finished paying for her gift, they wrapped it up and I took it home. I was so unbelievably pleased with myself. When momma's day came, I presented your Grammy with her gift and waited excitedly as she opened it. It was a fancy jewelry box (more of an oval) that matched her maroon room.  It was classic and pretty. She loved it! Not for what it was, but because it was from me. I didn't need to spend money on her, she would love any thing I gave her. But I wanted to spend money on her because it made me feel good to give up buying something for myself to get her something nice. 

momma, Grammy & you!

My momma means so much to me. I hope to mean that much to you. She deserves anything money can buy, and everything it can't. I know this to be more true now than ever because I am a momma myself. Your momma to be exact.
Your Grammy is a very special woman. She's my best friend (besides your poppa, but that's another story). She and I have been through a lot. It actually makes me pretty nervous to watch you grow up.

you, brand new

Your birth day was one of the most exciting days of my life, but also one filled with fear. Your poppa said "it's a girl!" and for the most part dreams of baking together, chatting about boys, going for walks, snuggling up on the couch with popcorn and a good chick flick, and shopping for your wedding dress filled my mind...but in a very small corner I dreaded all the negative things I'd have to endure with you. Mothering a girl is so hard; I know from experiencing it as a daughter.
I don't know how your Grammy put up with me. I don't know how she dealt with all the strife I caused her. And I certainly have no idea how she handled all the pain I've gone through and laid upon her. Most recently? I've cried to her about making the right choices and doing my best with you. I don't want to do anything wrong, you're so amazing and I just want your life to be perfect. But that's not possible, so I'll just do my best. Thankfully, your Grammy has been through it all and tells me it's okay to mess up. I am so lucky to have you both in my life. I'm in the best position, still a daughter but also a momma. I can remember being in your position well enough to know what worked and what didn't. And when I need an experienced shoulder to lean on, when your poppa just isn't getting it, I've got my own momma.
Grammy has argued with me when I was an inquisitive and defiant child, I guess this could be considered a negative thing by many, but it taught me to think for myself and stand up for what I thought. I am not a push over, and I have her to thank for that. She has shared me with a large extended family, when she probably just wanted me all to herself. My personality is full of all those who had a hand in raising me. She taught me to listen, even when I tried not to. She forced me into physical activity, thank the Lord. She encouraged me to get involved, do something, meet people, follow my dreams. She let me make mistakes, and was always-ALWAYS- there to pick up the pieces. She never once said, 'sorry kid, you made your bed, lie I it.' She may have wanted to, but that's not what momma's do. She nursed me back to health, she held me when I wanted to run, she punished me when I needed it (and sometimes when I didn't!), she dealt with my poor boy choices, she rejoiced with my good ones, she let me approach 'the line' and cross it occasionally. One thing that neither your Grammy or I will ever forget is when she lay on my bed with me and we both sobbed as I lost my senior year of soccer due to a very unfair situation involving poor guidance counseling. She knew how much soccer meant to me, she liked watching me play, and her heart ached as my dream of collegiate soccer fell through the cracks. Life isn't fair, G, but momma's are here to make their babies feel better. Grammy was my biggest cheerleader. She nurtured me into a wonderful young woman, and even when I turned my back on all she had taught me, she still loved me. Her love kept me knowing what the right thing to do was. So when I had gone too far, it was her mothering that had taught me what to do to get back on track. She didn't even have to do anything then, she had already laid the foundation.
It's hard to choose one, but the best thing Grammy ever did for me-and for you-was letting me go. By that I mean marrying your poppa. I was young. Younger than she would have liked, but she knew it would turn out right. She had faith in me and in God. She likes your poppa a lot. She knows he's perfect for me, and she is SO glad he's a good poppa for you. Your Grammy and I are very close, but she knows that I am part of my own little family now. She's let part of me go, but we both know I'll always be her baby. Now that I am a mother, I've gained a whole new perspective of her. I appreciate her even more and know someday a similar transition will occur for you and I. I'm so excited to watch you grow up, but I have no idea how I will handle letting you go. Being a momma is hard. You are a piece of me, that isn't inside me, and I can't read your mind. Right now is tough because you aren't feeling well. It pains me and stresses me out to see you hurting. I hope you feel better soon.

1 day old

This momma's day is so special to me because it was a day that allowed me to reflect on my mom, but also on being your mom! You were born 11 weeks ago today. What an intense morning that was. Laboring and birthing you were definitely the hardest thing I've ever done, but I'm very proud of your poppa and I for starting your life off on the best foot; unmedicated. We hope to continue making healthy choices for you and teaching you to make them yourself. You are a very precious gift from God, and I don't want to mess it up! Cut me some slack, though, because I'm just a daughter myself.

momma, great-grandpa, Grammy, you...great-grandma passed away when I was your age

 ps. the day I offically became a mother was July 1, 2010; when three little tests showed up positive.