Mom's Brunch Recipes, Clean Eating Chocolate Zucchini Muffins,Strawberry Shortbread Trifle, Egg Sausage Strata

I had a few moms over for a brunch today and wanted to share the recipes I made!

Eat Clean Chocolate Zucchini Muffins

3 eggs, set out of fridge when you begin
3/4 cup grassfed butter (regular is fine, but not as clean), softened a bit
1.75 cups white whole wheat flour (still a whole wheat flour, white whole wheat flour is made from white wheat, versus red wheat the traditional whole wheat flour is made from)
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (I use half dutch cocoa and half regular, the dutch results in a richer color and better flavor)
3/4 teaspoon salt
1.25 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon aluminium free baking powder (regular will do, but not 'clean')
2/3 to 3/4 cup (depending on preferred sweetness) honey or agave nectar
1.5 teaspoon vanilla
2 medium zucchini, grated (I used the shredder disk & my food processor)
3/4 cup chocolate chips (Ghirardelli 60 % dark chocolate are the best! but you can also use semi sweet)

In a mixing bowl, combine the flour, cocoa, salt, soda, and powder. In a large bowl (stand mixer preferred), blend the softened butter and honey until smooth. Add the eggs and vanilla, beat well. Add the zucchini and whip away (I let mine go for quite a while to, as I like to call it, pulverize the zucchini so it doesn't stick out as noticeably in the baked muffin.) Add the dry ingredient mixture and combine until everything is moist. Stir in the chocolate chips. Pour into greased muffin tins, or use baking cups of some sort. Bake at 350 degrees for about 20-25 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean. Will make ~24

Nearly Clean Strawberry Shortbread Trifle

So this takes some work because I make everything from scratch, but it's totally worth it! You can also sub in a store bought angel food or pound cake and store bought whip cream for ease, but the homemade way allows you to control ingredients and tastes better :-) But I understand being pressed for time or not that handy in the kitchen.

First I make the shortbread biscuits. 

2 cups white whole wheat flour plus extra for dusting/patting
1 tablespoon aluminum free baking powder
several dashes of salt
1/2 cup grassfed butter (or regular will do)
2 tbsp honey
1 egg
3/4 cup grassfed milk or almond milk

Combine the dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl and then use a pastry cutter to cut in 1 stick of butter. Continue cutting until the butter is well distributed and finely incorporated, will take several minutes of cutting (you can also do this in a food processor and pulse, it's easier that way but I hate cleaning my food processor and I have a pastry cutter so I use it)
Make a well in the center of the dry mixture and put the egg, honey, and milk. Whisk the wet ingredients within that well and then incorporate the flour mixture with the wet until a ball comes together. You will have to add some more flour, probably, so that the dough isn't too wet. You want it to be tacky but not too sticky. You can roll the dough out and cut if you want, but since these biscuits will be getting torn up for the trifle, I don't care if they look sloppy, so I just roll them in to balls and pat down into 2.5" (ish) circles. Bake at 450 degree for about 9-10 minutes or until done. Let cool before trying to break into bite size pieces for the trifle. The biscuits and the strawberries can be done the day before you want to assemble your trifle.

You will also need to clean two pounds of strawberries and cut off the tops. 

Cut them into bite size pieces and let sit, covered, in the fridge for a while to naturally "juice".

Right before assembling the trifle, I make some whipped cream. 

I use grassfed cream and *gasp* unclean powdered sugar. It's processed, but it's better than the crap you buy in the store, so deal with it or try to make whipped cream with maple syrup?

To assemble the trifle, layer the cut up biscuits on the bottom, then strawberries, and then whip cream, I repeated this twice. I topped it with three whole strawberries for presentation :-)

Clean Eating Egg Sausage Strata

This is basically a Taste of Home Recipe but I make it clean by making the bread from scratch and hand shredding my cheese...in addition to choosing better for you sausage and bacon and free range eggs. When I make this strata, I make a whole loaf of bread (typically whole wheat in my bread machine--tip, add vital wheat gluten to keep whole wheat bread from being a brick!) and then make two stratas because each strata takes half of a 2 lb bread machine loaf, and this recipe is really easy to double even if you're using store bought bread. You can prepare the stratas and then freeze one for later and let one refrigerate overnight to eat the next morning. This is an amazing brunch recipe and awesome for crowds. It's very easy to make, if you don't do it clean. Because making it clean takes longer, I usually make the bread the day before I want to prepare the stratas, which is a day before you want to eat it because it has to set overnight. You can also add mushrooms, spinach, etc... very customizable!
Recipe is found here; http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/cheese-sausage-strata

Our First Marathon!

We recently ran the Garmin Marathon in the Land of Oz -- yes, we ran 26.2 miles!! Okay, we probably walked about half a mile of that, but still, that's a small percentage!

I have always said, and still maintain, that running that many miles is absolutely crazy. After we finished our half marathon last fall, we basically looked at each other and said, "We can totally do a full!"
So we signed up for one.
Then the training was pretty terrible. Training for your first marathon over the winter is challenging because you end up running long distances on a treadmill or outside in the freezing weather and then something ends up pulled, torn, etc...There were also illnesses to contend with, and not to mention our two kiddos. So needless to say we did not stick to our training plan very well. We did manage to get one 20 mile run in, and it didn't go too terrible.
Despite both having tweeked ankles and my husband falling down the stairs two days before our race, we went ahead with the run and beat our goal pace by 3 minutes!! (Originally I had wanted to run the race under 4:30, but from about week 4 on we knew that wasn't going to happen. We changed our goal to 5 hours. Then when we picked up our packets, we saw there was a 4:50 pacer, so that became our goal)

Here's a run down of how the race went for me (My husband said he hurt basically the whole time and in my opinion is seemed the worst part was the beginning for him - just speaking from how it came off);

Mile 1; Excitement, but then I saw a sweet girl with a "go mommy!" sign that made me think of how proud she must be of her mom and how hard that mom must of worked, and then it made me think of how hard I've worked and how I'm trying to be a good example for my kids.... which made me actually a bit emotional inside and I couldn't believe I felt a tear in my eye!

Mile 2; settling in, going smoothly, that last mile was SLOW! But we wanted to start slow because it sets up a better last half if you don't go out to fast. Hubby needed to stop and stretch, his ankle was hurting.

Mile 3; rain drops sprinkling down, sky looks very bad....greaaaattttttt
When we split from the half marathon there was a guy directing runners and he said, "to the right, hurts a little, to the left, hurts a lot" I LOL'd and said, "true true!"

Mile 4; a bit of a break in rain, my husband needed a porta potty stop, lost our pacer

Mile 5; picked up speed to catch our pacer, rain was pouring at this point. I was pretty mad about it

Mile 6; sprinkles, hills, puddles, grumpy at the weather but chugging along physically

Mile 7; TORRENTIAL DOWN POUR, thunder, lightening....yeah this is DUMB and INSANE but by God we're doing it

Mile 8; GU stop! I grabbed a chocolate flavor and cared only minutely that GU isn't clean...it was SPECTACULAR. The consistency is perfect and it tasted awesome. Definitely needed that pick me up during the miserable storm

Mile 9; decided that at least the storm is propelling us on, because who wants to WALK in the rain?? Get done sooner, get out of the rain sooner, just keep running! But we did heed the warnings to not let the rain make us run "too" fast, so we kept our pace right between the pacers.

Mile 10; Just as I asked my husband if he thought we had another hour or so in the rain...the sky cleared a tiny bit and the rain stopped! It was a miracle, haha. The wind was still around and so trees were still spitting water and the ground was disgusting, but my posture improved so much since now I was able to run standing up.

Mile 11; we are doing this! We were in a groove at this point. Walked up a short steep hill and didn't feel bad at all

Mile 12; we made it through the part of the course I was most worried about--the first 12 with the most hills and the rain had stopped, I was happy for sure! My husband was hurting pretty bad though. Walked through an aid station, stretched.

Mile 13; Feeling pretty cheery through the first half. Our time was right around 2:25 which was almost 20 minutes slower than our half marathon race time, but again, that was the plan, slow and steady to finish.

Mile 14; Neither of us are feeling to great. Since the rain had stopped, we had nothing to distract us from our hurting bodies.

Mile 15; walked some on the bridge, my smart husband brought a sample pack of biofreeze to rub on his ankle and he let me have some for my super aching knees -- I was SO surprised at the difference it made. Instantaneously my knees were rejuvenated. This was totally what we needed.

Mile 16; at the park and split for the trail.

Miles 17-19; Sticking pretty close with our pacer, watching those who had already made the turn run past us was a great distraction. We chatted some through the next few miles. Walked up a few steep inclines...stopped and stretched once

Miles 20-21; heading back to and through the park, stopped to stretch a bit, not feeling awesome, belly hurting but at 21.5 we saw the kids and my sister and soon to be brother in law! it was so great to see them!! I gave G a huge hug and sweet J got a kiss. They waved and it was perfect timing.

Miles 22-23; this was my "wall" but thankfully my husband was there to help me get through it. I didn't stop...obviously, and even at one point my hubby asked if I wanted to walk and I barked out a "no!" because I knew I wouldn't start back again

hurting!!

Mile 24; when we hit this point, I knew we'd finish and I had worked through the mental exhaustion of the previous few miles. My husband even said he was "excited" at this point, which propelled me even more because he's not an excitable person! We walked through the last aid station ready to smash the finish.

Mile 25; holy s$%* we are DOING THIS! We were passing people left and right at this point. This was our fastest mile. I think that speaks volumes to our training and our racing mentality. You can't start out too crazy, there has to be something left in the tank to finish strong...and we did that. I looked at a lot of the times on the results and we were some of the only people who had slower pace times at 13.1 and 18.5 miles than we did over all...because our back 8 was faster than our first 18 miles.... pretty proud of our finish

booking it buddy!

Mile 26; this course has an incline to get to the finish, and I knew that because I had run the route, and I had prepared us for that....we rocked it (painfully, but still).  My husband was a bit behind me, I slowed a tiny bit for him to catch me because I wanted to finish together

Mile 26.2; We both ran to the finish, what felt like a sprint was probably not, but we were going faster than the whole race and people were cheering...and the MC was shouting out encouraging things and said how impressed he was with our neck and neck finish. My husband ended up edging me out by 6 thousandths of a second! I'm totally proud of him, but he was apologizing because he "beat me." I don't see it like that though :-)

just finished...ya it was rough but so proud!

So there you have it! When I sit here and think about it, I can't believe we really did it!

times;

forgot to stop my watch until about a minute after we finished

Personalities - INFJ or ENFJ

I know I'm in desperate need of a kid-family life blog update, but I had to just get out my observations on a personality crisis I've been having. And I think the fact that I look at it as a personality crisis proves that much more that I am an INFJ.

Lately my humanmetrics myers-briggs/jung personality test has been labeling me as an ENFJ (though my E-extroverted is only 1% preference). The 16personalities test also labels me as an ENFJ... For 6 years I've thought I was an INFJ....so it was a tad bit concerning to me that I was now this new personality....

So I investigated probably more than I had time to do...to find out the subtle differences between INFJs and ENFJ... I feel like both descriptions fit me pretty well but I felt it necessary to pin myself down as one (I think this is a classic INFJ desire, Jung himself was an INFJ). I do enjoy socializing, but it is written that INFJs are the most extroverted of the I's and ENFJs are the most introverted of the E's....they are apparently very hard to tell apart.

The website I found most helpful in determining what I really am was on personalityjunkie.com and was a post called INFJ vs INFP, ENFJ, ISFJ

Basically it says that INFJs main objective is to understand the world and the ENFJs main objective is to change or influence the world. While I would like to do both, let's be honest... I am not a mover or shaker, I dream about being one...but mostly I just want to make sense of it all. ENFJ's have a hard time saying no....and I definitely don't mind saying no.

Anyways, like I said I've spent way too much time researching this, so hopefully soon I'll have time to sit down and post kid pictures and life updates!

The protector vs the giver
if you have a chance to read those and know me personally, which fits me better in your opinion? I'd bet it's the protector ;-)

Clean Eating Chocolate Chip Cookies

It's not like I want to have a house full of sweets.... I just get sucked into baking from outside commitments! Bringing a mom from a church group who just had a baby is the latest "reason" to bake some desserts.

I just hate breaking the clean eating thing for some treats, so I generally try to 'clean' everything up, so if we have some left around the house, I don't feel completely terrible after throwing a few back. But, they are a treat, they are sweet, and they aren't really healthy. Everyone need a chocolate fix now and again, though. Sue me!

I recently took the King Arthur Flour white whole wheat cookie recipe and swapped out the sugars, among other alterations seen below.

Clean Eating Chocolate Chip Cookies

3 tbsp butter (grass fed preferred)
1/3 c agave nectar
1/4 c dark molasses
1.5 tbsp honey
2 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 egg (cage free organic)
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder (aluminum free)
1.5 c white whole wheat flour
8 oz dark chocolate chip (greater than 60% preferred)

Beat the butter, agave, molasses, honey, vanilla, and salt together until smooth (no, really, don't short cut it, beat until smooth). Beat in vinegar, egg, soda, and powder. Blend in the flour until combined and then stir in the chocolate chips. Line baking sheets with parchment or silicone mat (or grease the pans directly). Drop by tablespoons or teaspoons for mini cookies.

Bake at 350 degrees for 8-11 minutes depending on size. Don't over cook, these will be soft on the inside.

I got 2 dozen average size cookies, including some sneaky dough tastes.

Green Pancakes DYE FREE! Recipe

Happy St Patrick's Day!!!!!
This is my favorite holiday, so I try to do it up big.

This year we had fun science experiments with our church friends, then a wife of my husband's co-worker had some wives/kids over for playing and fun green lunch.

Oh, and I started us off right with some GREEN PANCAKES :-)
of course they were clean eating, which means no dye, because who wants that ruining their festive eating? not us!

Here's the recipe my friends!

Green Pancakes - clean eating & dye-free

2 cups whole wheat flour (or white whole wheat works great too...I actually used a combo)
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2.25 cups almond or grass-fed dairy milk
2 cups (or "handfuls") baby spinach
2 eggs
4 tbsp melted grass fed butter (or coconut oil)
1 tbsp agave nectar (or honey)

Combine first 4 ingredients in a mixing bowl. In a blender combine the milk and spinach until pureed. Add eggs, melted butter, and agave--blend away. Combine wet and dry ingredients. Pour onto hot griddle in desired size (silver dollar pancakes are perfect for SPD) and flip once they start to bubble. Serve with pure syrup, agave, or honey and fruit. ENJOY!!

Momma kisses

Tonight I got to experience one of the sweetest moments in my entire life. I'm just here writing down the moment so I can have it forever and share it with J when he is older or read it when he's being a challenging teenage boy.

I was nursing J before putting him down to sleep, like I do every night. He sometimes falls asleep (or closes his eyes while nursing), but more times than not, he's awake and kind of playful. And to his credit, he's usually very sweet, so I don't mind it.

It's just. Tonight, he was absolutely precious. I can't fully put it into words, but I felt so loved, so need, so special. It's those kinds of feelings that make me wish he never grows up. He is my sweet, sweet boy, and I have so much love for him.

At one point while he was nursing, he sat up and smiled at me. I thought maybe he was done, so I asked him if he wanted to go lay in his bed. He shook his head emphatically "no," and laid his head on the arm of the chair...smiling at me. I've been really trying to soak up these moments because I know our intimate baby-momma bond is coming to an end within a few months as he makes the jump to toddler and stops nursing. So I just scooped him up and snuggled him on my shoulder and started to sing, rather than getting annoyed that he wasn't going to sleep yet (which is often a reaction I think many busy moms--myself--may have). He started to "sing" along with me, which of course made me melt, so I snuggled him closer. He leaned back and opened his mouth and gave me the "Imma gonna kisssss youuu mommmaaa" look :-) I leaned in and let him give me a kiss. He laughed in delight and did it again. Then I kissed him and he laughed hysterically. Then he wanted more and more kisses. We went back and forth for like 3 minutes (Again, I was begging time to stop, because I could have shared these sweet laughs and snuggles with him forever), before I started to sing him more songs to try and calm him down. He just wasn't really having it, so I sung a bit more before gently plopping him down into his crib.
He's generally really good about not crying at night time (naps are a different story), so he snuggled up with his Elmo and tiger and cooed himself to sleep.

These are the moments moms live on to get through the hard times....and I don't think the blogosphere gives them enough promotion. Our kids are why we are moms, by the very definition, and we need to treasure these little moments when they happen. Looking back on this moment...I feel....blissful.

Accepting your kid versus parenting

Something big has been on my mind for a few weeks now and I can't fully come to a conclusion, so here I am, attempting to work through it in a public forum. Humor me.

One of G's biggest personality traits (for now? forever?) is her introversion and extreme shyness. She is so very shy with strangers, more than I believe is "normal" for her age. After she warms up to you, it's fine, but that can take quite a while.
She also doesn't like to do anything that she's not good at (or that she perceives she is no good at). She learns from watching, and is definitely not the kind of kid to jump into the fire. Ever since she was a baby, I knew she wouldn't be my physically adventurous kid. And to some degree, that's awesome not really having to worry about her poking an eye out or breaking a bone doing something crazy. Her brother, on the other hand, currently has a shiner at age 14 months and was climbing before he was walking. G sizes things up from a far and says, "nope, not doing that." or "hey, I think I can be good at that.' Once her mind is made up, it's all but impossible to change it. This is a good and bad thing.

These traits are all fine by me, because I do want her to be her own person....even if that's not how I am. Although. I wasn't always like that...I definitely had to develop into the woman I am today, and I think part of that had to do with my parents. I'm not saying that I was as painfully shy as she is, but my mom has said I wasn't very talkative with strangers. (which I look back and think I was, but she claims that was more my sister...which is weird to me) I also certainly wasn't athletic as a kid (I kept running off the soccer field--crying I think). I 100% consider myself an athlete now, though I'm no pro or anything. Athleticism and competition (primarily with myself) is a defining characteristic to me. Again, I don't think that was my natural instinct as a kid. So I believe it took my parents pushing me to keep trying, to become who I am today.

So here I sit. Trying to figure out the right balance of pushing / forcing G to do things she whines / cries / tantrums about, and letting her be herself ("I want to go home" "I want to stay home" "nooooooooo")

I know that there isn't one right answer, just like there isn't one right answer to sleep training your kid (see a million posts circa 2011). And I also know this is just one more drop in the bucket as far as parenting conundrums I will find myself facing.

Parenting properly is super challenging. It's even more challenging when you are trying to do it yourself without tossing her in day care or something to make some one else do it part of the time. There.is.no.break. I know I'm "doing" that to myself, by not putting her in preschool...and maybe I still will decide on a part time program, but for now, I'm still trying to be the parent I want to be.... which is the parent who makes the time to screw up her kid rather than let someone else try their hand at botching the life God entrusted to me. #cynicalmuch

So most of this is brought on by our recent experience with kindermusic.
Many people have told me how much G seems to enjoy music, and I totally agree with them. She loves singing, loves listening to music, and gets SO excited by certain songs. So I did the only thing I know how to do....researched music classes in the area. She's still pretty young for private instrument lessons, so I settled on a kindermusic program. I looked through all the options in our wealthy-over-achieving-county-with-a-million-extra-curriculars and made the appropriate arrangements.

The first week went pretty well, and was our free trial. I asked her if she wanted to keep going to music school and she jumped up and down, YES! So I paid for the next month and went on our way. The following week, as soon as I mentioned to G we were heading to music class (in the car en route), she FLIPPED S***. Seriously, you would have thought I told her I was going to leave her on the side of the road in a card board box. I finally get her calmed down enough to go inside, because in typical Kaylene fashion we were teetering on 'late' and didn't have time to spare sitting in the car debating.
Once inside, more tantrum behavior followed, and I did all the "right" things of not giving her a reaction, going into the class with J, ignoring etc... then it didn't work and she was making too much of a scene, so I tried to be direct / firm and her behavior was still piss poor so we went home and I pretty much threw her in her room and let her scream and cry it out until she realized I don't accept tantrums in public. It was a miserable afternoon and day, and yes I still showed her love and all.... but no one in my home acts like that in public...shouldn't ever act like that, but especially in public. She kept saying how she didn't like music and didn't want to go back.... well that sucks, because I already paid FIFTY BUCKS. wth. She was so on board and now she hates it? ugh.
So I dropped it completely. I didn't mention music class the whole next week. Then this morning I had my mom ask her if she was going to music class today.... G pretty much clammed up and went mopey. When it was time to leave our house, she started to get upset and I said..."hey, why don't you take Gloria (her waterbaby) to music class and show her what it's all about".... so that got us out the door and into the building. But I could never get her in the room. There was, thankfully, no tantrum or melt down....but it was obvious she wasn't going in the room unless I forceably picked her up and put her in the room. I didn't do that. Instead I let her know I was disappointed we came all that way and she wouldn't even try. Then she looked at me on the verge of tears and said her belly hurt. Now maybe that was a cop out (I wouldn't put it past her), but maybe she also had kid-anxiety. Maybe she is that dreadfully afraid of people she doesn't "know" (even though she has seen them 3 Wednesdays in a row now), that it gives her a stomach ache. I don't know...I know if she had a friend in the class, it'd be much easier.
When I drop her off for Moppets (The kid care at MOPS), her buddy is in there and she's totally fine with me leaving...if I drop her off and he's not there, she is a lot less willing to go inside.
Maybe I can have the teacher get me in contact with a mom of another kid in kindermusic and set up a play date so they can become friends and that'd help her....
But that still doesn't solve my dilemma about how hard to push her and how much to let her alone.
Ultimately I think I have to figure it our for myself, since I'm her mom and I know her better than anyone, but I also don't want my preconceived notions of how I want my kid to be to affect her... except I think that's been happening since the dawn of time, and God gives parents the job of raising their kids to the best of their ability, which would naturally include the parents own experiences and presumptions about how a person should be.
I will never forget a play date we had right when we moved back to Kansas, with one of my best friends who I never see. She commented on how funny it was that her daughter was super athletic and loved running/kicking/throwing but couldn't sit down to listen to one book...and my daughter loved to sit and listen to books forever. My friend was saying it's funny, because she "wanted' her daughter to be more like mine, because that's how my friend is.... whereas I "wanted" my daughter to be more like hers, because that's how I am. Now, I certainly love my daughter and don't want anyone else to have her!! I'm just sharing the anecdotal story because I think it reflects something all parents want...a kid who is more like them than not, because it makes it easier to get along and manage.

G is a lot like me in so many ways, but it's VERY obvious in the ways she is not...but she is a KID and kids don't have fully developed frontal lobes or the experience of adults. She doesn't know how to go into certain situations and flourish. She doesn't know her talents, and certainly doesn't know how to utilize them. It's my job as her mom to give her the tools necessary to find those two things out.

I'm just at a crossroads (Yet again) of figuring out my own parenting style. (I know I keep saying "my" instead of "our," despite how involved of a father my husband is...I'm just writing this on my personal blog, from my personal perspective, and generally speaking, my husband would defer to whatever I figure out, God Bless him)

The little girl that made me a momma is 3

Last weekend was G's third birthday. This is both welcomed and shocking. I "can't believe how big she is" but I also can't believe it's "only" been three years.

I can totally remember life before her, and in some ways my husband and I yearn for those years....because ya'll know being a parent is just tough, especially when they are so demanding of your time and energy....marriages are forever changed by kids. But in way more ways, we are so blessed, lucky, and happy to have her in our life.

This past year was such a huge one of growth for her.

First, she made potty training seem like it was like learning to fly without wings. OMG it was so hard. I'm sure you remember all of those blog posts....
But, she did it, we did it, it was a team effort. No accidents since last summer. Just today she wiped her own bottom for the first time & I had no clue! I was down turning on laundry (I knew she had gone to the bathroom) and when I got upstairs she was flushing! I mean...#cool. Can't wait for that journey with J....not.

Second, she went from barely saying words to telling stories, singing songs, pretending, having a vocabulary of probably thousands of words (who's really sitting there counting?), "reading" books, etc.... She is an individual person with all of these emotions, feelings, thoughts, ideas.... I love it. Seriously, I cannot believe she was in my belly just 3 years and 1 week ago. And then for her first 6 months of life she was TOTALLY dependent on me and my milk (God's provision, of course). I kept that little person alive...and now she is thriving. It's so miraculous.

Third, she started sleeping in her 'toddler' bed. She'll probably sleep in that thing for years...she's so petite, I don't know why we'd need to buy a "big kid" bed until she'll too long for it....that won't be until she's probably 6.

Fourth, she started "writing" and "drawing." She's pretty good at tracing letters, but only a few are distinguishable on their own. She draws pictures of stick people, with huge heads of course. She is pretty darn good at coloring within lines, and she can "cut" and use glue.

Fifth, gross motor wise, she's all there. skipping, hopping, dancing, etc...

Her personality is in full force, and it's all her. She's got 90% me and 10% my husband. I told him the other night, what did he expect since he "let me stay home and raise her myself." HAHA... he gets a good deal of quality time with her, though, and plays with her more than most working fathers do. I'm really proud of the effort he takes to be present in her life. I really don't feel like she is lacking in that department, which is good, because I wouldn't accept any less from him. Girls need their fathers. Her relationship with him will have more of an impact on her life than any other human relationship, in my opinion. Yes, her relationship with me or with her brother are very important....it's just my belief that a girl and her father is the relationship where she solidifies her self confidence in "male" subjects (not that I can't model that, it's just my belief that her relationship with her dad solidifies it), where she learns appropriate respect to demand from future love interests, and where she comes to respect or not respect her self worth.

To summarize G at 3---

Favorite;
food-- oatmeal with blueberries is a solid choice, she'd love to eat junky food all the time (like chicken nuggets) but that doesn't happen. She is pretty picky with meat. She likes cereal, eggs, carbs anything (pancakes, muffins, etc...)
song-- ABC song
color-- red
book--currently it's this 5 story collection of Bernstein Bears, but she loves just about any book you give her
show-- daniel tiger and super why
clothing item-- comfy pants
drink-- juice (but she only gets that at breakfast)
snack-- happy family anything, annie's homegrown cookies, fruit, yogurt
friend-- Levi
activity-- doing school cards or pages, she also enjoys playing "big kid" things with us without J around (like jigsaw puzzles, candy land, match game, doll house....)

She doesn't really nap these days, about 2/7 days she takes a nap, other than that it's "quiet time"
She sleeps about 10 hours over night. She takes showers every other day with our help.

least ideal attributes; TANTRUMS, duh. She gets REALLY set in her ways and won't change her mind for anything. Independence....but that's both good and bad. I want her to be independent, so I don't want to "break her of that" but it can be REALLY challenging
best attributes; she's a great helper, a really good big sister, aims to please, for her age is pretty reasonable, she minds me fairly well in public, she's cautious and observative, has a really good attention span

Basically she's really awesome but can throw the biggest fit you've ever seen. It's a passionate person problem. I'm the same way. Still.

For her third birthday I hand crafted a Daniel Tiger theme (thanks to PBS parents for the free printables)

Rare Gene Disorder Day

the two CDPX1 boys in my life & my hubby loving them both

A few years ago, February 29th was deemed Rare Gene Awareness day...since it is such a rare day itself. There is no 2/29 this year, so 2/28 is the date.

J is seeming to be a mild case of chondradysplasia punctata type-1, x-linked. But who knows with these things... something might come up in the future, but we hope that doesn't happen, obviously.

He has a mutated x chromosome, that caused his extremely tiny nasal bridge and cute little smooshy nose. He also has some funky spine bones and some speckling on some other bones that you can only see on X-ray film.

His prognosis is great. He just has to be a little extra cautious with his spine, but no surgeries on it are anticipated right now. We will continue to see his spine doctor once a year to verify this. He sees his ENT doctor 1-2 times a year, as his small nose and airway is the biggest concern right now. He's been snotty all winter, and has been breathing fine (praise God)...he's just a major mouth breather anyways. His hearing seems just fine. So, again, we are really lucky.

Unfortunately almost every other kid with CDPX1 is not this simple. I feel for them and their parents... I just don't understand how one mutated gene produces such variety in affectedness. Everyone of them is making the best life for their kid, and I am in awe of how amazing they all are.

So my observation of Rare Gene Day is less about my baby J (thought I totally acknowledge his uniqueness and 'this could all go wrong in an instant'), it's more about his fellow CDPX1 brothers (and 2 sisters that we know of, thought it's even more rare for an affected female to survive!).

I am a carrier, which means I too have a rare gene... but aren't we all unique in some form or fashion ;-)

The observation of this day is more than just fluff.... check out the website here--- http://globalgenes.org/world-rare-disease-day/

ps. I think the most stressful time with J was the last half of his pregnancy and the first 3 months of his life. It was the uncertainty that was the hardest. God has a special plan for him, and I'm so blessed to be entrusted with his care and upbringing.

Eating Disorder Awareness Week

Several years ago I wrote a series of blogs about my eating disorder. I also wrote how I hope to help my kids avoid behaviors and emotions that can lead to eating disorders.

I mean....the reality is.... I can't completely prevent that from happening. As much as I will fight tooth and nail to do my best, it comes down to only them. So that kind of sucks, but that's the plight of a parent.

As for me...since it is eating disorder awareness week, and I feel specifically called to catch "you" all up on how I'm doing.

I am better than ever. Literally, I have never been at such a strong place in my life with respect to a relationship with food and my body.

I really attribute this to eating fairly "clean." As I've written before, we really avoid processed foods and I make just about everything from scratch. I'd say we strive for 90/10, but most months hit 85/15.

If I feel good about what's going into my body, how can I feel bad about my body?

As much as I'd love to say I don't care a thing about the scale...I do a little bit. And I think that's okay, because we all need some checks and balances... I want to be healthy, and not throw complete caution to the wind. I do, however, know more than ever how much weight can fluctuate and how 150 pounds on one woman looks healthy and on another it looks too big.

Eating disorders are about so much more than food. They are about paranoia, isolation, control, stress, etc...

I think having an eating disorder is THE ONLY thing in my life I would go back and change. So many negative things happened to me in my life, but I wouldn't change them because they helped me become who I am today.... an eating disorder just plain sucks and I would definitely change that. But it'd be impossible to, because as I wrote in my older blog posts, it started forming at a really young age.

The point of this post is to put it out there that if you are struggling with an eating disorder, you can get through it. There is hope and all you have to do is make a series of positive and life altering decisions. Tell someone about it. Be honest with them and yourself. Make an action plan. Know there will be steps forward and backward. I didn't get to this place over night. My eating disorder was in full force 8 years ago and until last spring, I wouldn't say I was completely "cured." Because I still had disordered eating and negative body thoughts.

My sweet husband has been my rock through it all and he is probably really happy to not hear me be so negative about my body. I love it. Stretch marks and all.

I am;
strong
smart
friendly
helpful
passionate
supportive
loving
grounded
humble
confident
healthy.

unfiltered momma of two. eats fairly well and works out a few times a week. flexing in all my glory.

It is my hope that if we talk about eat disorders, more people are likely to step forward and say... hey, you know what? I've been through that, or I'm going through that... and it won't be this big stupid secret thing that people feel like they are alone in. I think we all really need to unite together against societal norms that perpetuate disordered eating and body image.

Making people feel loved is really the key. And it has to start BEFORE eating disorders take hold, because it's much easier to prevent an eating disorder than to get over one. Even when I felt loved by my husband, I still was within the grasp of poor body image and disordered eating.... it took quite a battle to get out from under it completely.

Moral of this blog, love your kids, love your neighbors, stop watching/buying/promoting the culture of thin.