Life Lately!

As per usual, I have done a poor job of keeping the blog updated. So prepare for some rambles.

easter morning

We've been super busy. A major factor was the wreck I was in about 6 weeks ago. The long story short of it is that I went through a yellow light, t-boned a car that was turning, and it totaled my car. Her insurance has accepted liability for the wreck but I haven't gotten money yet. We had to buy a new car because it was the only vehicle we had that the kids could ride in. We were not prepared for that kind of expense. We financed all of it. It's an 07 toyota with over 100000 miles on it, so the rates, regardless of my 800 credit score were terrible. So I started tutoring 4 nights a week to make some fast cash. It's helping, but it sucks to have to be away during the dinner hour. I know it's tough on my husband to have to come straight home from work and be thrown into only caretaker at home role (also making his work day much tougher because he literally can't stay late even if he wanted to because he has to get home to watch our kids). I know this is a middle class, stay at home mom problem, so I don't expect any pity. I am still working for Happy Family about 30 hours a month, and trying to make other cash as I can. My mom suggested I advertise that I would do other family's ironing....but ironically I'm like the only one that still irons. My friends joke about it.

If I could keep G this age forever, I would. She's pretty much perfect and I am super lucky. She's respectful, funny, sweet, caring, and smart. But she still does get selfish sometimes, and does throw some diva fits but it's really totally manageable.
She is doing great at her sight words and working on adding. I'm trying to help her practice saying the hard g and k sounds. She's not able to do it--she always sticks her tongue up like for a duh and tuh sound. If she hasn't figured it out by fall, I guess we'll do speech through the public school. We are going to start her in official kindergarten this fall (homeschool). I also taught her how to play the card game "war" this weekend. That's a subject in homeschool right? Part of socialization, right next to paper rock scissors. That's another thing we've taught both the kids. Life with a 4 and 2 year old is pretty fun.

J is a little less difficult than he was a month ago, so that's positive. He sometimes (versus rarely) stays in his bed--but naps are still tough initially. His vocabulary has exploded but his pronunciation and others' ability to understand him are still bad. He knows his colors about 90% of the time, and a few letters. They are proving to be challenging because he's less interested and I have less time to just sit around with him and casually play. Second child probs. I've considered putting him in 'gym school' like G goes to now in the fall, and using that time to hit some serious home school lessons with her. She'd be pretty jealous, I bet though, so obviously I'm looking for some enrichment program for her. Right now my top choice is a nature school once a week. J is also very sweet. Yesterday he shared the elmo snack cup with G, even though I gave it to him. She was having a diva moment about not getting it, and after he realized that she was sad, he handed it over to her. I melted. He also gives the best hugs and kisses. Sometimes if I snuggle him to tightly he says, "mush! mush!" (smushed!! smushed!) and it's really the most adorable thing ever. He is super bright (even if not interested in learning letters), and I caught him 'reading' brown bear brown bear to himself before nap today. He understands patterns, routines, and is getting quite good at puzzles. He plays pretend so well and takes turns better than any other 2 years old I've seen (aside from G).

After all of the baby shower sweets and foods in early March, we decided to do another Whole 30 to bounce back from the yucky feelings physically and mentally from so much junk. It's been a lot easier this time around, but we are both pretty much done with being so strict. Yesterday was Easter and I made us a paleo fudgy brownie for our 'treat.' It was made with whole 30 compliant foods, but the presentation of it as a brownie is really not allowed on the whole 30 program. I'm not sad about it, because it means we didn't eat like crap or have tons of Easter candy, as in years past. So if nothing else, the sweetened with dates treat gave us a sense of some kind of tradition.

The husband's job is keeping him quite stressed, but he's managing it well. I think not drinking (due to whole 30), has really helped him figure out that he doesn't need it to manage stress. I'm sure there are times when he really just wants a drink, but he deals with it and is stronger for it. So I'm proud of him there :-) We thought we might be moving back to California, but that doesn't look like it'll be happening anymore.

I'm feeling stronger than ever, and happy with myself (not really my abs, but I know that's vain so trying to ignore the nagging mental hang up about them). My faith is at an all time high, and there's no going back there. Far from perfect, it's a life long journey toward holiness.

Speaking of.. How crazy do you think we'd be if we went to Philadelphia in September for the Pope's visit?? I mean. He's so awesome, truly radiates God's good news, and we both would love to go see him in person and experience all of the faithful people there too. And we'd want to take the kids, because....how awesome is that for them!? But A) money and B) that's crazy.

Other things we've been up to;
home improvements
gym time
park time
bike rides
planning our future

see more easter photos below!

opening easter presents that grandma and grandpa sent

throwing easter grass while wearing tiara grandma sent

two miraculous years

J is two you guys.

The baby I worried would never be 'normal' is beyond thriving.
He is so spectacular.

I mean. His nose is a tiny bit different. His spine is definitely different. But he is a wonderful creation and so sweet, smart, silly, and boyish.

He is 25%; about 12kg; about 85 cm

In the past year, J....
learned to walk
learned to not throw his food or plate
learned to USE THE POTTY 100% (by 20 months!)
learned to say mama!!!!
started running
started jumping
goes down stairs alone, but does still like to be carried sometimes
stopped nursing (did I write about this? I got him down to 1 bed time feeding over the course of a month and a half and then after about 2 weeks he decided he was done! It was so weird because I was going to hang onto that last one for a while...)
stopped taking his iron supplement and started taking gummy vitamins
fell in love with chocolate and sugar and butter and all things comfort food
developed an affinity for sockets, plug ins, and switches

Walked down the aisle carrying a treasure chest :)
loves trying to be big, sometimes too much so (grabbing for knives or scissors!)
became an expert appliance helper (pushing buttons, flipping knobs, etc)
went on a boat for the first time, and helped "drive" it
started facing forward in his car seat
got a back pack and walked into MOPS on his own!
fell in love with playing baby dolls! (he's very nurturing)
made friends
learned to give real kisses, with the smacky noise too!
learned to say bye bye
spent several nights away from me, after having only 1 in his first year of life
started sleeping in a big boy bed, and has still not yet fully mastered it (unfortunately)
learned to throw a ball and sometimes catch
not cry when he's dropped off somewhere familiar or if I leave home
is still not that well behaved in church, but it's progressing
learned to color and can do a circle
knows J is for him, D is for dad, M is for mom, G is for his sister, P is for papaw, and sometimes he can pick out a few others
can say he is "two!"
has all his teeth except the back 4 molars
has had many hair cuts

says these words (though most are not full words, nor understood by anyone who doesn't know him)
Dadda, mama, na-na (G's name), assahn (attempt at his name--heard once! but he really never tries to say it), dog, ball, book, read, grapes, cheese, please, potty, no, yes, bright, dark, lights, fan, bath, towel, pants, shirt, undies, grammy, papaw, grandma, grandpa, versions of my sister and brother-in-laws names, fork, spoon, drink, milk, juice, orange, banana, ketchup, pickle, meat, chocolate, chip, truck, tractor, boat, up, down, me, more, show, Caillou, Daniel, Peg + Cat, Elmo, bubbles

So it seems like he is doing great for talking, but really those are words that I know he "tries" to say....but they really sound very similar, and you have to know within what context he is trying to say them. And the diversity in sounds has really just come on in the last two weeks. Speech therapy has picked up in intensity and has made a difference I think. His go to sounds are duh and uhh-uhh.

In many ways he's really independent, but in other ways he's still clingy and a mama's boy. I think he's a really good balance, and I also think he's super intelligent. I anticipate this year will be even better, though I doubt he can top the amount of huge milestones from this past one (I guess talking in sentences will be pretty huge though!). His speech teacher and other who interact with him on a learning level say he's pretty advanced in most areas, it's just he speech that has to catch up. We are SO SO proud of him. And so lucky. I am in awe of all the CDPX1 moms I know who have a much harder life and a much tougher outlook for their kiddos. God bless them all for the amazing women they are.

Every year around this time, I will forever reflect on how bad things could have gone, and how miraculously amazing they have turned out.... even if my body is still screwed up. I think that is just the maternal duty..... we literally give our bodies for our children, even if we better ourselves physically....we just can never go back to living only for ourselves.

Being a mother is amazing and terrible, scary and wonderful. You all know what I am talking about. I'd do anything for this kid, on a large scale; but at the same time, I turn on the tube just for a moment of peace some days! It is all about finding the balance I think.....and I'm so much more comfortable in that with J than I was with G. I like to think that G really benefited the best from us having J. I mean, sure she doesn't get us all to herself, but that's not really healthy. She gets a built in play mate, a built in support when her parents drive her nuts, and it made me a better mom to her. Things don't get me as riled up, I'm less up tight about schedules, and less anal.

 I feel truly blessed to have the kids that I do, and will never ever take them for granted. I know in a flash they will be 25 and out of the house and I'll miss them. So even when they make me so frustrated all I can do is scream....the moment is fleeting.

Two years!

It's been two years since we moved to Kansas.... I can't really say that time flies, because we've done so much in those two years that it seems like we've been here forever.
The time we spent in California seems so long ago, an entire kid ago, if you will!

Since we've been in this house we've upgraded it in small ways; mostly the exterior color (hooray for gray!) and some inside fixing-up and paint. It feels enough like a home, but it's not our forever home. So we've got that itching to move lately. We really want a bit of land with a kind of homestead...but it's out of our financial reach in the area we live, so we have talked about moving and can't reach anything conclusive. Don't worry, I'll keep you posted.

It's so strange to have been here this long. We haven't lived anywhere this long in the 6 years we've been married. No wonder my husband says he feels 'claustrophobic.' I wouldn't describe my feeling like that, but it's something for sure. I want to live in this area forever, but not knowing if we will or not causes me some stress.

I love the friends I've made here, and the family that isn't too far away, and my BFF that's less than 45 minutes away....and the kids are settled in with our favorite places and people and routines.

So I guess what I'm getting at is that we are at a tipping point. I told my husband the other day, we either agree to stay in this area for the foreseeable future, or we start planning to move and actually do it. Because I don't want to get any deeper than I already am, or it will hurt too bad when we leave. And I think we agreed that no area is better than the metro, so we'll just have to move outside the expensive land area if we want to get our 'homestead.' Good thing I'm planning to homeschool for a while because those school districts that we can afford aren't really great.




and while I have you, just a quick family update.

no races in our future, which is taking a toll on the waist lines LOL (but not too bad, thanks to still mostly clean eating)
I've been making all kinds of fun recipes, and I really should be better at blogging them... speaking of, I've been thinking of buying a new domain and letting this one revert...something to the affect of life with momma, or something like that... I thought maybe in the kitchen with momma, IDK
J is fully potty trained and it's awesome. He is such a big boy now, except for his lack of talking. We're working on that with speech therapy though. He is amazing at pretend play, and the therapist said she often forgets he's not 2.5 because of how advanced in all other areas he is. I think he's an albert eistein type for sure.
G is a real blessing (except for when her head is spinning around, KWIM?). She's so sweet, loving, and compassionate. She loves red still, and daniel tiger. She also is currently fascinated with learning the planets.(I think last time I really wrote, she was into the moon) Science FTW!
They both love helping me do just about anything, and doing projects keeps us busy.
Being outside was so awesome this fall and winter...hence why I didn't really blog! We were living the life man!
Fishing and park picnicking were our favorite past times--plus visiting family and taking our two trips.
And.... I'm still in physical therapy for my diastsis recti, and it's super sucky. Basically I need to have surgery but that sounds about like the worst thing ever to me.

Happy Fall Y'all!

potty win bed fail

So it took about a week, but J to use the potty!! I don't know how, because it seemed like we were in for a long training period (As with G), but I think we started young enough there wasn't a battle for control. That first week was stressful for sure...but 8/17 he woke up and just had it under control!! I'm so glad. Nap and nights are a different story. And he may get those if we pushed it, but since he doesn't wake up dry in the morning and rarely does at nap time, I figure we'd be in for many nights of changing sheets and after doing it for forever with G, I just want to wait on it for a while. My husband agrees.

Then there is the climbing out of bed incident that just happened. UGH! I didn't think we were there yet.
One major reason for not wanting to sleep-time train him was we wanted to keep him in a crib longer since we know he won't stay in his bed like G did. He's way to adventurous. So we thought we'd bide our time for a while, then rip the band-aid off and do both undies-while-sleeping and staying-in-your-bed training at once.

Guess it's not gonna happen because he popped his little cute head into my room today during nap time!! I instantly felt my heart drop....like, "are you kidding me!?" He looked shocked about it too, so I didn't scold him or anything, just told him to stay in his bed and go to sleep.
I should have just went with my gut and started it this past weekend, as he had started throwing huge fits about wearing a diaper to bed. I just really didn't want to lose sleep. Mom fail.

I'll keep you posted.

In other news his vocalizing is really improving, I'd give him another two weeks before true words come and I'm SO excited for it.

In more other news, we're busy as ever with work, playing, cooking, housekeeping, and attempts at being social...so forgive the lack of creative writing of this post!

Day in the life of mom

Alarm at 425 am, up and ready & out the door by 4:46

5 am, workout, today was lower body circuits. Rocked it.

6:05-6:45 am, home, shower, throw on the toddler-mom summer uniform of athletic shorts and a collegiate t shirt, eat a post work out first-breakfast (Greek yogurt, honey, PB, apple), kiss hubby good bye (the benefit to early morning workout is I'm actually awake enough to tell him have a good day).

Close to 7 am I consider (A) folding the laundry sitting in baskets next to my bed or (B)starting the cleaning I've got scheduled for the evening but I'm pretty spent and so I make the rare decision to (C) lay down on the bed for a while.

7:40 am, little miss enters my room to say "I need to go potty!" She used to just get up and go, but now it warrants an announcement I guess, so we traipse downstairs because she likes going down there better. I start a load of laundry.

7:50 am, she (thankfully) doesn't ask about watching a show, so we decide to do some "school pages" (I bought her preschool reading, preschool math, and preschool sequence & patterns workbooks and the first two are completed & we're wrapping up the s/p one now)

8:25 am, I think J is awake (didn't grab the monitor, I was just hearing thumps through the ceiling) so we head up to get him, but it turns out he's not (we had a late night and busy weekend so I guess he's catching up, too bad he's not my only kid so I could actually enjoy the late sleeping ha!)

8:30-8:50 am, instead of returning downstairs I start folding the clothes in my room & G asks what she can do now, I tell her she can play, look at books, or help me. She's not keen on any of it and whines a good amount so I dump out the whites and tell her to comb through it to find her underwear. She's great at helping so that goes over well. Then she gets antsy and so we chat and sing songs while I finish. J is still a sleeping toddler, so we decide I'll make breakfast and G can watch a show

8:50 - 9:30 am, laundry switch, swiffer floor, empty dishwasher, make breakfast. G watches end of dinosaur train and start of sesame street. 

9:30 am, G turns off TV with no fight (huzzah!) and we go get mister-man up. His diaper is super smelly (taco salad the night before eeeek). He hates diaper changes these days so :-( to that

9:40 am Breakfast is whole wheat grassfed buttermilk pancakes and blueberries on the side. The kids have agave on top of theirs and mine are plain. I don't always make a fancy breakfast like that but it's grocery store day and somehow we are all out of dry and hot cereal and there aren't any weekend leftovers and I only have 2 eggs. Whew.

9:50 am, the treasurer from my mom group drops by to get a check I forgot to give her yesterday, my bad!

10:05 am, kids are down and playing while I clean up. It's good for them to have unorganized self moderated play. At least this is what I tell myself while I slave away in the kitchen because I'm too type A. Don't bother telling me to save the mess for later, ain't happenin' sister. Although I did leave a few hand-wash dishes in the sink, mostly because I was washing my dryer mat.

10:15 am, told the kids we were gonna get ready and go do a craft at the library...G pitched a fit because she didn't want to go. Are you kidding me??? She loves crafts and loves the library. Ugh #lifewithagirl I roll with it because, hey, it's not something we HAVE to do and I'm not gonna fight her to go do something fun. We do have to grocery shop though.
10:20 am, we facetimed with Grandma to talk about visiting and since we hadn't in a while. It went okay. Of course G was shy at first and J was a little ham who then got mad when I wouldn't let him hold the phone.... We chatted about 10 minutes and then got ready for the store.
10:50 am, head out the door....this is a process, almost every time. Need to potty? Where's our socks? Do we have snacks and drinks packed? Why are you both crying? Ugh, Ugh, Ugh! Why do we even both leaving the house? Because the fridge is bare...so here we go!

11 am; I was in the mood for paradise by cold play so I turned it on and got this sweet conversation from G; 

Me; jamming out.

G; What's this song called

Me; Paradise

G; What is paradise

Me; Paradise is a beeeaaaautiful place

G; oh yeah! Like you also skate on ice! Right mom?

11:05 am, we drive past the library and wouldn't you know G pipes up "I do want to do a craft!" "I DO want to go the library!" I think about saying, too bad, you shouldn't have said no at home....but I really wanted to go myself, so I give her a hard time about not making that decision at home and how we don't have our return books or our library card so it's going to be more difficult but we will definitely go and to the craft because it's something fun to do and next time let's make that decision at home.
11:10 - 11:50 am, decorate a Styrofoam cup with crayons and googly eyes, shovel in potting soil and plant a sunflower seed with each kid. Check out a few books and play a bit.
11:50 am head out to the grocery store. J hates his car seat now (it's really time to move him up to the big boy seat) and so getting into the car is never my favorite thing.
noon, arrive at the grocery store just as it's feeding time at the zoo. Oh well. I salvage the trip preemptively by utilizing the race car carts that have two seats and steering wheels. My kids have never got to sit in these (hello germs!) but I make the exception today after Clorox wiping it down (I used 5, in case you were wondering how many it took). They are so stoked! I also hand them their snacks and drinks and we mosey inside.

12 - 1 pm, stick mostly to our list but still manage to spend $180. I hate how much healthy food costs. I did buy like 8 packs of Sargento cheese though because it was on sale. Also got; peaches, pears, cherry tomatoes, lemons, grapes, cherries, two packs of power greens, radishes, butternut squash, egg plant, bell peppers, cucumber, pineapple, Italian sausage, regular sausage, omega 3 brown eggs, almond milk, grassfed cottage cheese, 7 yogurt cups for the kids, tub of grassfed Greek yogurt for us, pita chips (splurge this week), nitrate free ham, several boxes of annie's homegrown snacks for the kids to take to grandma's house, 2 things of honey, 'clean' strained tomatoes jar & 'clean' pasta sauce in case I don't get enough homemade sauce out of that, oats, 5-grain cereal (bob's brand), blue-pom wheat-fuls (MOMS brand) cereal for the kids, non concentrate OJ (2 plus calcium/D and 1 plain), nitrate free bacon... I think that's it. Of course we had our occasional hiccups of behavior, but overall it was pretty good thanks to the 'lets-be-real' cookie from the bakery I let the kids scarf down because they were teetering on the edge of fighting. Mostly I hated the trip because of how expensive it is. I really wish we lived in the country so I could get into gardening. I have to say though, we'd probably spend the same amount on food even if we weren't eating clean, just because we never eat out and I never did like to buy pure crap. I did earn 10 cents off per gallon of gas too.
1:20 pm, get home and unload the groceries.
1:30 pm, G is used to getting to watch a show while I make lunch...that became a habit after her preschool camp two weeks ago, soooo yup. Another 20 minutes of screen time here. Grand total of an hour, so I'm fine with that. J doesn't really care about TV, he ends up flipping through some books and then bugging me for bites. G actually takes his cue and looks at her new library books too instead of really watching the TV. Win.
2 pm, lunch is a homemade wheat bun turkey, cheese, spinach sandwich for G, with veggies & fruit and a few organic corn chips. I have a salad with (leftover) grassfed beef sauteed with carrots/onion/garlic/homemade taco seasoning plus cucumber chips, radish, bell pepper, salsa, a slice of pepper jack cheese and some organic corn chips. J has a combination of our two lunches cut up smaller. For dessert we split 2 graham crackers and milk. G has to go potty in the middle of lunch because she's gotten into that annoying habit, but better that than blowing up.
2:40 pm, kids play / fight while I clean up (don't worry, I do have G help me a little bit by carrying things over)
3 pm, switch a load of laundry and corral the kids upstairs to get ready for naps. I usually aim for earlier than this but the morning was long.
3:35 pm, both kids are in their beds after reading books, telling stories, drinking water and such....J cries for a while before zonking out (I think it's because it's the first time since Friday that I put him down) and G never goes to sleep.
4:30 pm, after an hour of 'quiet time, I get G up. We read a few books, change some laundry, pick up toys, and start dusting
6 pm, check to see if my husband has called to say he's coming home...no dice. G and I keep plugging away on our cleaning/playing. He finally gets home around 6:25 pm.
6:25 pm, get J up from his nap since he was still zonked out. I don't usually ask my husband to make dinner, but since it's just grilling and I want to finish my cleaning, he obliges me. He gives the kids a snack of yogurt while prepping dinner and I clean upstairs. Dust, vaccuum, , toilets, sinks, organize...thankfully I'm jamming out to some tunes and it's enjoyable :-)
6:45 pm, the kids head outside with my husband. I'm sure it's a hassle, but he's sweet like that ;-)
7:30 pm, I'm done and we start to plate dinner. I change J's diaper and he's actually cooperative! Hooray.
7:45 pm, Dinner is grilled butterfly pork chops, grilled zucchini/squash/carrots/mushrooms, grilled sweet potato, and grilled butternut squash
8:20 pm, done with dinner, and yes G had to got potty during dinner again.
8:25 - 8:45 pm, I played with the kids a bit and my husband cleaned up outside. Then we both start cleaning up the kitchen because many hands make light work and the kids play.
8:45 - 9:10 pm, family dance party to josh turner. It's super fun. My husband and I dance together to part of a song, despite the kids whining at our feet. I tell him, sometimes you just have to have ear muffs. We dance with them all the other times, we deserved a minute of solo dance LOL
9:15 - 9:30 pm, get ready for bed, which is all together. My hubby takes care of J and I help G. Then we come together to read books and say prayers. The cutest thing happens while I'm reading the book "What Brothers/Sisters Do Best." J is holding G's cup and offering her a drink (Water) and G picks up J's cup and offers him a drink...so they are sitting there giving each drinks. It was really precious, especially because they were giggling and smiling at each other. Life is good! My husband puts J to bed and I stay with G for a little bit. We chat about the day and our plans for the next day. One of my favorite parts of the day is when she says, "Mom will you stay with me for a little bit." and I say, "of course baby." I lay my head next to hers on the pillow and we snuggle up. It is so sweet and peaceful.
9:45 -10:15 pm my husband makes his lunch (I used to do this for him and then I just kind of handed the task over in exchange for me doing other stuff) and I pack up for my job the next day. After I'm done I stay in the kitchen with him for a minute and grab a few bites of the munchies he's eating...had told myself I wasn't going to snack after dinner anymore but his pretzels look so delish. so I have a handful and don't feel bad about it at all.
10:30 pm, after getting ready for bed myself, I lay in bed for far too long typing up this blog and I still don't finish so at 11:15 pm I save it and go to sleep.
apparently my hubby came to bed around midnight after watching two of his deadwood shows.
We used to go to bed at the same time but since I've been getting up early to work out, I try to go to sleep at a decent hour.


So there you have it...this really was a typical day in the life of me :-)
now you know why I never really post any more! love to you all 

Helper tiger and picnic

(Should have posted last week, lame blogger!) 

Our summer has been going along swimmingly aside from some stress, a cr repair, and a sinus infection bug that went through the house.

I'm going to try to post more here...so lately we've been....

Picnicking (mostly I pack our picnic but yesterday we had coupons and went against clean eating for a convienient and yummy chik fil a dinner)

Trying to fish as a family. Pretty challenging with young ones and a terrible fisher wife. Nice memories though.

Working. I have been doing a lot of happy family work and the kids usually come with me to small things. 

Reading. Summer reading program is in full swing and j is even growing in his attention span. He loves Pete the cat and llama llama! 

Cooking. Clean eating has been a year habit now, and it's awesome. Ie definitely gotten into a grove with the cooking and meal planning. It's just expensive. Anyone that tells you they eat clean and well on a cheap budget is crazy. There's no going back though. I can't let myself but anything with crap in it. It's shocking how well I shop the perimeter, except at target, yo'. I've been feeling generally great about myself and it's really only if we are traveling and I've not been eating well or if I've not been able to work out that my body image gets out of wack.

And then there's my helper tiger!

Check out her folding skills, to the left of my trifold are her half folded small towels. Love her!!

Just a quick post!

G told me today that the snack at preschool camp was "boonneeessss!" Like dog bonesssss! And I asked what they tasted like, to which she said, "like bones, like that dog I made that project with at the new "muu-nee-um"! Which translates to Scooby snacks! Lol ( we went to the children's museum a few weeks ago and in the art room there was a Scooby doo project)

Aside, muneeum and furnanure are my favorite words she says... Behind "I love you"

She recently told me that no one else is married but her aunt d and r. They just got married this past week, and it's G's belief that if we didn't go to your wedding, you're not really married!

She did great at YMCA soccer and has been exceeding my expectations at her gymnastics classes (no more parent tot, yay!) we also enrolled her in that preschool camp for a week for some socialization and for me and j to get some alone play. It's been great! We've also been hitting the library once a week and park play dates lots!

J was evaluated for speech delay today and it went really well. He's like super off the charts for receptive and non verbal communication, he just doesn't have words. Which is really similar to G, if you recall, but his craniofacial team was concerned so he's gonna get speech therapy. Should be something to do, and hopefully fun, at least.

He's such a little ham and there's been too much development for me to really catch this blog up on.

He has all but the 2 yr molars. He weaned fully on 5/29 (I got him down to just bed time, then about 2.5 wks later he decided he was done all on his own, kinda sad but at least it was "easy" ish). He hates diaper changes and has gone a lot on his potty, though not lately, so I need to just buck up and train him. He's 18 months on Monday so I'll write more about him then!

I've been doing an intense boot camp style workout. I think it's kinda working on toning my flab up but I mostly just need a tummy tuck for the skin hanging around... We go on a trip in a few weeks but a two piece is never in my future. Still working for the organic baby food company part time. We are all still eating 90% clean and loving it. I can never go back now.

My husband has been doing great at his job, and recently built himself a work bench in the garage from scratch (including running electricity and installing outlets). Super proud of the man I married.

We've had a few date nights and have been keeping busy with social activities or kid things (plus my job!)

Much love to you all!

Momma kisses

Tonight I got to experience one of the sweetest moments in my entire life. I'm just here writing down the moment so I can have it forever and share it with J when he is older or read it when he's being a challenging teenage boy.

I was nursing J before putting him down to sleep, like I do every night. He sometimes falls asleep (or closes his eyes while nursing), but more times than not, he's awake and kind of playful. And to his credit, he's usually very sweet, so I don't mind it.

It's just. Tonight, he was absolutely precious. I can't fully put it into words, but I felt so loved, so need, so special. It's those kinds of feelings that make me wish he never grows up. He is my sweet, sweet boy, and I have so much love for him.

At one point while he was nursing, he sat up and smiled at me. I thought maybe he was done, so I asked him if he wanted to go lay in his bed. He shook his head emphatically "no," and laid his head on the arm of the chair...smiling at me. I've been really trying to soak up these moments because I know our intimate baby-momma bond is coming to an end within a few months as he makes the jump to toddler and stops nursing. So I just scooped him up and snuggled him on my shoulder and started to sing, rather than getting annoyed that he wasn't going to sleep yet (which is often a reaction I think many busy moms--myself--may have). He started to "sing" along with me, which of course made me melt, so I snuggled him closer. He leaned back and opened his mouth and gave me the "Imma gonna kisssss youuu mommmaaa" look :-) I leaned in and let him give me a kiss. He laughed in delight and did it again. Then I kissed him and he laughed hysterically. Then he wanted more and more kisses. We went back and forth for like 3 minutes (Again, I was begging time to stop, because I could have shared these sweet laughs and snuggles with him forever), before I started to sing him more songs to try and calm him down. He just wasn't really having it, so I sung a bit more before gently plopping him down into his crib.
He's generally really good about not crying at night time (naps are a different story), so he snuggled up with his Elmo and tiger and cooed himself to sleep.

These are the moments moms live on to get through the hard times....and I don't think the blogosphere gives them enough promotion. Our kids are why we are moms, by the very definition, and we need to treasure these little moments when they happen. Looking back on this moment...I feel....blissful.

Rare Gene Disorder Day

the two CDPX1 boys in my life & my hubby loving them both

A few years ago, February 29th was deemed Rare Gene Awareness day...since it is such a rare day itself. There is no 2/29 this year, so 2/28 is the date.

J is seeming to be a mild case of chondradysplasia punctata type-1, x-linked. But who knows with these things... something might come up in the future, but we hope that doesn't happen, obviously.

He has a mutated x chromosome, that caused his extremely tiny nasal bridge and cute little smooshy nose. He also has some funky spine bones and some speckling on some other bones that you can only see on X-ray film.

His prognosis is great. He just has to be a little extra cautious with his spine, but no surgeries on it are anticipated right now. We will continue to see his spine doctor once a year to verify this. He sees his ENT doctor 1-2 times a year, as his small nose and airway is the biggest concern right now. He's been snotty all winter, and has been breathing fine (praise God)...he's just a major mouth breather anyways. His hearing seems just fine. So, again, we are really lucky.

Unfortunately almost every other kid with CDPX1 is not this simple. I feel for them and their parents... I just don't understand how one mutated gene produces such variety in affectedness. Everyone of them is making the best life for their kid, and I am in awe of how amazing they all are.

So my observation of Rare Gene Day is less about my baby J (thought I totally acknowledge his uniqueness and 'this could all go wrong in an instant'), it's more about his fellow CDPX1 brothers (and 2 sisters that we know of, thought it's even more rare for an affected female to survive!).

I am a carrier, which means I too have a rare gene... but aren't we all unique in some form or fashion ;-)

The observation of this day is more than just fluff.... check out the website here--- http://globalgenes.org/world-rare-disease-day/

ps. I think the most stressful time with J was the last half of his pregnancy and the first 3 months of his life. It was the uncertainty that was the hardest. God has a special plan for him, and I'm so blessed to be entrusted with his care and upbringing.

The latest happenings

Basically my kids have been sick in some form or fashion since the middle of October...so that's been....awesome.

stomach flu
runny nose
cold
flu
rsv

hoorah!

I've been sick twice (I started the stomach bug in early October and had a cold or the flu over Thanksgiving), and my husband once. The kids just can't seem to get out from under it. We've had brief periods of health, and I use that term lightly, but 85% of this winter has been confined to our home with snot rags, sick juice, and TV. Ugh.

I know that it's "good" for the immune system to be boosted, and we are "due" because last winter there was one round of colds after the birthday party / baptism weekend, but that was all since we were homebound. I tried to be relatively homebound this year, but I guess you either are or you aren't because going to target doesn't count as being homebound and clorox wipe or not, there's millions of germs floating around that store and anywhere else we went....even if it wasn't some indoor play center. Heck, maybe those woulda been cleaner.

My life looks like this;
 
Run. Cook. Wipe noses and butts. Breastfeed. Watch TV. Work (I worked 50+ hours this month! money FTW!!!!). Attempt to visit friends, but generally lose on that due to illness. Attempt to go on a date but that hasn't happened due to illness. Go grocery shopping. Go to church when we aren't sick. Attend a few meetings. Go to the doctor. Oh, and I went to the dentist once. Woooooo!

Since I last updated you we celebrated my husband's birthday. That was nice, though it was supposed to be nicer with the date night attempt I mentioned above that still hasn't happened. Such is the life of a parent. He also kind of got hurt running and trying to be a general badass by beating my on our 9 mile training run. It's been almost 2 weeks since he last ran and I'm starting to worry he won't be prepared for the marathon. I really don't want to run alone...

G has gone through periods of awesome behavior and then crappy behavior. I'd like to think I'm doing a rockstar job of rolling with the punches, and have only really yelled once in MONTHS, so that's cool. I credit Daniel Tiger, The Orange Rhino Blog post I read, internal motivation that I don't want to model bad behavior and GOD above through prayer and intervention. Sometimes you just have to kill 'em with kindness and that's what I've been trying to do. We do discipline, but try to do all things with love. We are Christians, ya' know.
I also read St. Gianna's book (seen here Saint Gianna Molla: Wife, Mother, Doctor). Even if you aren't Catholic, it has a great message of being a better wife, mother, human....My husband has been reading it too, very motivating.
So back to G. Well, she's working on handwriting, because I feel like once she can write, at least a little bit, official homeschooling will begin. I'm beginning to feel more and more out of place with 'preschool' conversations because she's not going anywhere and won't be. I wish people wouldn't judge me for that. She'll be socialized just fine, thanks. I'm not crazy. I asked her today if she wanted me to be or teacher or someone else and she said me, so there's that :-)
She does want to go to a "school" / "somewhere else" for school, so I guess I'll have to work on that one.

She didn't used to get confused with "b" and "d" but out of no where she has started to. And also "6" and "9"

celebrating her besties birthday

She totally used to know those apart....maybe she's got dyslexia, or has too much swimming around her brain nowadays. I don't want to diagnose her since I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure she has sensory issues and may even be on the ASD, but not nearly enough for treatment. Especially since it is such a broad spectrum (I think nearly any kid could fall on it KWIM?). She's definitely not a truly typical kid though, but we've known that since she was a baby. Even my mom pointed out how quirky she is when G was only like 8 months old or something. Basically I am her mom, and I see her all the time. I also see a lot of other kids her age, and I know she's not like them in weird ways. Not that I think that's bad, and I'm certainly not seeking out treatment, because I think she has to develop her own personality and learn to manage her quirks. If there was something debilitative, sure, but in my opinion, there's not. What quirks you might ask.... well she's just extreme on so many things. OCD like, emotional overload like, extremely amazing memory....IDK I can't explain it, she's generally a sweet preschooler just weird, in an okay way. I love her to the end of the universe and back though. She is beautiful and makes me feel so happy.
Wow...got on a tangent there.

sick faces:-(

So J... he's doing really well despite his sicknesses. He's walking a lot at home these days, but not 100% of the time, and not when we are out and about for me to go get him some stride right shoes. That is on my to do list though. I can't wait for spring to get here so we can all go play in the yard together. Last spring was kind of a wash, because he had to be held when we were outside, and that's not as fun!
He has some "words." He'll say (in his own baby speak way) "bite"(which my husband unfortunately started him on as meaning "more food") "all done" "bath" "bed" "momma" "dadda" "ahh" (maybe G's name??) "bye" and "yeah"
He's getting a bit of an attention span FINALLY. He will read books for a little bit, and even has a few favorites (Sesame Street Nighty Night and a Colors slide-the-door book). He's not too interested in G's shows yet aside from the songs, and easily gets bored with toys (and moves between them quickly). He loves musical things and kid songs. He tries to write/color, but still tries to put them in his mouth, so it's a supervised activity only. He likes turning light switches, pushing buttons (like on the food processor), and being as "helpful" as I'll let him. He is OBSESSED with the dishwasher. He has sat on the potty a few times, but never gone (it was just because it's sitting right there next to the tub). He LOVES his blankey but doesn't have a lovey other than that. He's much more of a climber than G ever was, and he's much more curious (Whereas she was more likely to size things up from afar, he must try it to find out). He's still sitting rear facing, still nursing over night, and still my baby boy. I wouldn't change that for the world. XOXO.

Thankful

Today I am thankful for;

Heaters.

Last night my husband was complaining about how much the heater was running because of how high our gas bill will be. I gently said, "well...I'm just thankful we even have a heater on a night like tonight."

My kids love for each other.

They are so sweet together and the best thing we ever did for G was have J. They are so fun to watch & I'm very grateful they are getting old enough to entertain themselves together.

Downton Abbey.

So I know season 4 started last night but my husband and I just signed up for our free amazon prime trial so we could watch season 3...two episodes in one night because it's just that good. We both really like the show so it's nice to have that together time :)

And now just a PSA for myself and all you out there who made resolutions. You are not a number on a scale or item of clothing. I caught myself thinking negative things today, looked up to see my daughter looking at me and smiling while we played on the floor. I instantly told myself I'm better than negative body image and kept on playing with her.