My greatest accomplishment

Let me never forget these days. 

two miraculous years

J is two you guys.

The baby I worried would never be 'normal' is beyond thriving.
He is so spectacular.

I mean. His nose is a tiny bit different. His spine is definitely different. But he is a wonderful creation and so sweet, smart, silly, and boyish.

He is 25%; about 12kg; about 85 cm

In the past year, J....
learned to walk
learned to not throw his food or plate
learned to USE THE POTTY 100% (by 20 months!)
learned to say mama!!!!
started running
started jumping
goes down stairs alone, but does still like to be carried sometimes
stopped nursing (did I write about this? I got him down to 1 bed time feeding over the course of a month and a half and then after about 2 weeks he decided he was done! It was so weird because I was going to hang onto that last one for a while...)
stopped taking his iron supplement and started taking gummy vitamins
fell in love with chocolate and sugar and butter and all things comfort food
developed an affinity for sockets, plug ins, and switches

Walked down the aisle carrying a treasure chest :)
loves trying to be big, sometimes too much so (grabbing for knives or scissors!)
became an expert appliance helper (pushing buttons, flipping knobs, etc)
went on a boat for the first time, and helped "drive" it
started facing forward in his car seat
got a back pack and walked into MOPS on his own!
fell in love with playing baby dolls! (he's very nurturing)
made friends
learned to give real kisses, with the smacky noise too!
learned to say bye bye
spent several nights away from me, after having only 1 in his first year of life
started sleeping in a big boy bed, and has still not yet fully mastered it (unfortunately)
learned to throw a ball and sometimes catch
not cry when he's dropped off somewhere familiar or if I leave home
is still not that well behaved in church, but it's progressing
learned to color and can do a circle
knows J is for him, D is for dad, M is for mom, G is for his sister, P is for papaw, and sometimes he can pick out a few others
can say he is "two!"
has all his teeth except the back 4 molars
has had many hair cuts

says these words (though most are not full words, nor understood by anyone who doesn't know him)
Dadda, mama, na-na (G's name), assahn (attempt at his name--heard once! but he really never tries to say it), dog, ball, book, read, grapes, cheese, please, potty, no, yes, bright, dark, lights, fan, bath, towel, pants, shirt, undies, grammy, papaw, grandma, grandpa, versions of my sister and brother-in-laws names, fork, spoon, drink, milk, juice, orange, banana, ketchup, pickle, meat, chocolate, chip, truck, tractor, boat, up, down, me, more, show, Caillou, Daniel, Peg + Cat, Elmo, bubbles

So it seems like he is doing great for talking, but really those are words that I know he "tries" to say....but they really sound very similar, and you have to know within what context he is trying to say them. And the diversity in sounds has really just come on in the last two weeks. Speech therapy has picked up in intensity and has made a difference I think. His go to sounds are duh and uhh-uhh.

In many ways he's really independent, but in other ways he's still clingy and a mama's boy. I think he's a really good balance, and I also think he's super intelligent. I anticipate this year will be even better, though I doubt he can top the amount of huge milestones from this past one (I guess talking in sentences will be pretty huge though!). His speech teacher and other who interact with him on a learning level say he's pretty advanced in most areas, it's just he speech that has to catch up. We are SO SO proud of him. And so lucky. I am in awe of all the CDPX1 moms I know who have a much harder life and a much tougher outlook for their kiddos. God bless them all for the amazing women they are.

Every year around this time, I will forever reflect on how bad things could have gone, and how miraculously amazing they have turned out.... even if my body is still screwed up. I think that is just the maternal duty..... we literally give our bodies for our children, even if we better ourselves physically....we just can never go back to living only for ourselves.

Being a mother is amazing and terrible, scary and wonderful. You all know what I am talking about. I'd do anything for this kid, on a large scale; but at the same time, I turn on the tube just for a moment of peace some days! It is all about finding the balance I think.....and I'm so much more comfortable in that with J than I was with G. I like to think that G really benefited the best from us having J. I mean, sure she doesn't get us all to herself, but that's not really healthy. She gets a built in play mate, a built in support when her parents drive her nuts, and it made me a better mom to her. Things don't get me as riled up, I'm less up tight about schedules, and less anal.

 I feel truly blessed to have the kids that I do, and will never ever take them for granted. I know in a flash they will be 25 and out of the house and I'll miss them. So even when they make me so frustrated all I can do is scream....the moment is fleeting.

Outer space with kids

My kids, mostly the 3.5 year old, have been super interested in planets, moon, stars, etc for a while now and recently we checked out a pretty awesome, though dated, book from the library.

It really helped her learn the planets better and we even did one of the projects out of it teach just how far apart things are on a visible scale.

It is -- http://www.amazon.com/Planets-System-Lets-Read-Find-Out-Science/dp/006445178X

The planets in our solar system by Branley

There are tons of kid solar system books out there and I just encourage you to start young with kids and science! Never too early to teach the scientific thought process and help them learn more about the world around them.

The first photo is of G's project (saturns rings are drawn on it rather than around, fyi) and the second is the awesome moon from our leaf walk yesterday around 5 pm

Two years!

It's been two years since we moved to Kansas.... I can't really say that time flies, because we've done so much in those two years that it seems like we've been here forever.
The time we spent in California seems so long ago, an entire kid ago, if you will!

Since we've been in this house we've upgraded it in small ways; mostly the exterior color (hooray for gray!) and some inside fixing-up and paint. It feels enough like a home, but it's not our forever home. So we've got that itching to move lately. We really want a bit of land with a kind of homestead...but it's out of our financial reach in the area we live, so we have talked about moving and can't reach anything conclusive. Don't worry, I'll keep you posted.

It's so strange to have been here this long. We haven't lived anywhere this long in the 6 years we've been married. No wonder my husband says he feels 'claustrophobic.' I wouldn't describe my feeling like that, but it's something for sure. I want to live in this area forever, but not knowing if we will or not causes me some stress.

I love the friends I've made here, and the family that isn't too far away, and my BFF that's less than 45 minutes away....and the kids are settled in with our favorite places and people and routines.

So I guess what I'm getting at is that we are at a tipping point. I told my husband the other day, we either agree to stay in this area for the foreseeable future, or we start planning to move and actually do it. Because I don't want to get any deeper than I already am, or it will hurt too bad when we leave. And I think we agreed that no area is better than the metro, so we'll just have to move outside the expensive land area if we want to get our 'homestead.' Good thing I'm planning to homeschool for a while because those school districts that we can afford aren't really great.




and while I have you, just a quick family update.

no races in our future, which is taking a toll on the waist lines LOL (but not too bad, thanks to still mostly clean eating)
I've been making all kinds of fun recipes, and I really should be better at blogging them... speaking of, I've been thinking of buying a new domain and letting this one revert...something to the affect of life with momma, or something like that... I thought maybe in the kitchen with momma, IDK
J is fully potty trained and it's awesome. He is such a big boy now, except for his lack of talking. We're working on that with speech therapy though. He is amazing at pretend play, and the therapist said she often forgets he's not 2.5 because of how advanced in all other areas he is. I think he's an albert eistein type for sure.
G is a real blessing (except for when her head is spinning around, KWIM?). She's so sweet, loving, and compassionate. She loves red still, and daniel tiger. She also is currently fascinated with learning the planets.(I think last time I really wrote, she was into the moon) Science FTW!
They both love helping me do just about anything, and doing projects keeps us busy.
Being outside was so awesome this fall and winter...hence why I didn't really blog! We were living the life man!
Fishing and park picnicking were our favorite past times--plus visiting family and taking our two trips.
And.... I'm still in physical therapy for my diastsis recti, and it's super sucky. Basically I need to have surgery but that sounds about like the worst thing ever to me.

Happy Fall Y'all!

Helper tiger and picnic

(Should have posted last week, lame blogger!) 

Our summer has been going along swimmingly aside from some stress, a cr repair, and a sinus infection bug that went through the house.

I'm going to try to post more here...so lately we've been....

Picnicking (mostly I pack our picnic but yesterday we had coupons and went against clean eating for a convienient and yummy chik fil a dinner)

Trying to fish as a family. Pretty challenging with young ones and a terrible fisher wife. Nice memories though.

Working. I have been doing a lot of happy family work and the kids usually come with me to small things. 

Reading. Summer reading program is in full swing and j is even growing in his attention span. He loves Pete the cat and llama llama! 

Cooking. Clean eating has been a year habit now, and it's awesome. Ie definitely gotten into a grove with the cooking and meal planning. It's just expensive. Anyone that tells you they eat clean and well on a cheap budget is crazy. There's no going back though. I can't let myself but anything with crap in it. It's shocking how well I shop the perimeter, except at target, yo'. I've been feeling generally great about myself and it's really only if we are traveling and I've not been eating well or if I've not been able to work out that my body image gets out of wack.

And then there's my helper tiger!

Check out her folding skills, to the left of my trifold are her half folded small towels. Love her!!

Just a quick post!

G told me today that the snack at preschool camp was "boonneeessss!" Like dog bonesssss! And I asked what they tasted like, to which she said, "like bones, like that dog I made that project with at the new "muu-nee-um"! Which translates to Scooby snacks! Lol ( we went to the children's museum a few weeks ago and in the art room there was a Scooby doo project)

Aside, muneeum and furnanure are my favorite words she says... Behind "I love you"

She recently told me that no one else is married but her aunt d and r. They just got married this past week, and it's G's belief that if we didn't go to your wedding, you're not really married!

She did great at YMCA soccer and has been exceeding my expectations at her gymnastics classes (no more parent tot, yay!) we also enrolled her in that preschool camp for a week for some socialization and for me and j to get some alone play. It's been great! We've also been hitting the library once a week and park play dates lots!

J was evaluated for speech delay today and it went really well. He's like super off the charts for receptive and non verbal communication, he just doesn't have words. Which is really similar to G, if you recall, but his craniofacial team was concerned so he's gonna get speech therapy. Should be something to do, and hopefully fun, at least.

He's such a little ham and there's been too much development for me to really catch this blog up on.

He has all but the 2 yr molars. He weaned fully on 5/29 (I got him down to just bed time, then about 2.5 wks later he decided he was done all on his own, kinda sad but at least it was "easy" ish). He hates diaper changes and has gone a lot on his potty, though not lately, so I need to just buck up and train him. He's 18 months on Monday so I'll write more about him then!

I've been doing an intense boot camp style workout. I think it's kinda working on toning my flab up but I mostly just need a tummy tuck for the skin hanging around... We go on a trip in a few weeks but a two piece is never in my future. Still working for the organic baby food company part time. We are all still eating 90% clean and loving it. I can never go back now.

My husband has been doing great at his job, and recently built himself a work bench in the garage from scratch (including running electricity and installing outlets). Super proud of the man I married.

We've had a few date nights and have been keeping busy with social activities or kid things (plus my job!)

Much love to you all!

The latest happenings

Basically my kids have been sick in some form or fashion since the middle of October...so that's been....awesome.

stomach flu
runny nose
cold
flu
rsv

hoorah!

I've been sick twice (I started the stomach bug in early October and had a cold or the flu over Thanksgiving), and my husband once. The kids just can't seem to get out from under it. We've had brief periods of health, and I use that term lightly, but 85% of this winter has been confined to our home with snot rags, sick juice, and TV. Ugh.

I know that it's "good" for the immune system to be boosted, and we are "due" because last winter there was one round of colds after the birthday party / baptism weekend, but that was all since we were homebound. I tried to be relatively homebound this year, but I guess you either are or you aren't because going to target doesn't count as being homebound and clorox wipe or not, there's millions of germs floating around that store and anywhere else we went....even if it wasn't some indoor play center. Heck, maybe those woulda been cleaner.

My life looks like this;
 
Run. Cook. Wipe noses and butts. Breastfeed. Watch TV. Work (I worked 50+ hours this month! money FTW!!!!). Attempt to visit friends, but generally lose on that due to illness. Attempt to go on a date but that hasn't happened due to illness. Go grocery shopping. Go to church when we aren't sick. Attend a few meetings. Go to the doctor. Oh, and I went to the dentist once. Woooooo!

Since I last updated you we celebrated my husband's birthday. That was nice, though it was supposed to be nicer with the date night attempt I mentioned above that still hasn't happened. Such is the life of a parent. He also kind of got hurt running and trying to be a general badass by beating my on our 9 mile training run. It's been almost 2 weeks since he last ran and I'm starting to worry he won't be prepared for the marathon. I really don't want to run alone...

G has gone through periods of awesome behavior and then crappy behavior. I'd like to think I'm doing a rockstar job of rolling with the punches, and have only really yelled once in MONTHS, so that's cool. I credit Daniel Tiger, The Orange Rhino Blog post I read, internal motivation that I don't want to model bad behavior and GOD above through prayer and intervention. Sometimes you just have to kill 'em with kindness and that's what I've been trying to do. We do discipline, but try to do all things with love. We are Christians, ya' know.
I also read St. Gianna's book (seen here Saint Gianna Molla: Wife, Mother, Doctor). Even if you aren't Catholic, it has a great message of being a better wife, mother, human....My husband has been reading it too, very motivating.
So back to G. Well, she's working on handwriting, because I feel like once she can write, at least a little bit, official homeschooling will begin. I'm beginning to feel more and more out of place with 'preschool' conversations because she's not going anywhere and won't be. I wish people wouldn't judge me for that. She'll be socialized just fine, thanks. I'm not crazy. I asked her today if she wanted me to be or teacher or someone else and she said me, so there's that :-)
She does want to go to a "school" / "somewhere else" for school, so I guess I'll have to work on that one.

She didn't used to get confused with "b" and "d" but out of no where she has started to. And also "6" and "9"

celebrating her besties birthday

She totally used to know those apart....maybe she's got dyslexia, or has too much swimming around her brain nowadays. I don't want to diagnose her since I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure she has sensory issues and may even be on the ASD, but not nearly enough for treatment. Especially since it is such a broad spectrum (I think nearly any kid could fall on it KWIM?). She's definitely not a truly typical kid though, but we've known that since she was a baby. Even my mom pointed out how quirky she is when G was only like 8 months old or something. Basically I am her mom, and I see her all the time. I also see a lot of other kids her age, and I know she's not like them in weird ways. Not that I think that's bad, and I'm certainly not seeking out treatment, because I think she has to develop her own personality and learn to manage her quirks. If there was something debilitative, sure, but in my opinion, there's not. What quirks you might ask.... well she's just extreme on so many things. OCD like, emotional overload like, extremely amazing memory....IDK I can't explain it, she's generally a sweet preschooler just weird, in an okay way. I love her to the end of the universe and back though. She is beautiful and makes me feel so happy.
Wow...got on a tangent there.

sick faces:-(

So J... he's doing really well despite his sicknesses. He's walking a lot at home these days, but not 100% of the time, and not when we are out and about for me to go get him some stride right shoes. That is on my to do list though. I can't wait for spring to get here so we can all go play in the yard together. Last spring was kind of a wash, because he had to be held when we were outside, and that's not as fun!
He has some "words." He'll say (in his own baby speak way) "bite"(which my husband unfortunately started him on as meaning "more food") "all done" "bath" "bed" "momma" "dadda" "ahh" (maybe G's name??) "bye" and "yeah"
He's getting a bit of an attention span FINALLY. He will read books for a little bit, and even has a few favorites (Sesame Street Nighty Night and a Colors slide-the-door book). He's not too interested in G's shows yet aside from the songs, and easily gets bored with toys (and moves between them quickly). He loves musical things and kid songs. He tries to write/color, but still tries to put them in his mouth, so it's a supervised activity only. He likes turning light switches, pushing buttons (like on the food processor), and being as "helpful" as I'll let him. He is OBSESSED with the dishwasher. He has sat on the potty a few times, but never gone (it was just because it's sitting right there next to the tub). He LOVES his blankey but doesn't have a lovey other than that. He's much more of a climber than G ever was, and he's much more curious (Whereas she was more likely to size things up from afar, he must try it to find out). He's still sitting rear facing, still nursing over night, and still my baby boy. I wouldn't change that for the world. XOXO.

Thankful

Today I am thankful for;

Heaters.

Last night my husband was complaining about how much the heater was running because of how high our gas bill will be. I gently said, "well...I'm just thankful we even have a heater on a night like tonight."

My kids love for each other.

They are so sweet together and the best thing we ever did for G was have J. They are so fun to watch & I'm very grateful they are getting old enough to entertain themselves together.

Downton Abbey.

So I know season 4 started last night but my husband and I just signed up for our free amazon prime trial so we could watch season 3...two episodes in one night because it's just that good. We both really like the show so it's nice to have that together time :)

And now just a PSA for myself and all you out there who made resolutions. You are not a number on a scale or item of clothing. I caught myself thinking negative things today, looked up to see my daughter looking at me and smiling while we played on the floor. I instantly told myself I'm better than negative body image and kept on playing with her. 

For posterity

Today when I was getting the kids settled for nap time.... J crawled up onto bed with G and gave her the best snuggles and kisses. He, for once in his life, was not being rough at all, no hair pulling or anything. It was SO sweet. I just kept watching them be snuggley and wished I could get a photo if it but I knew if I left, the moment would be gone.

So I'm here writing it down so I can remember it always. J would give open mouth cheek kisses and then put his cheek against G's cheek; they would both look at me with angel eyes and I felt so much joy. 

They are so good for each other & I'm glad to be their mom. 

Best part? G said,  "j wants to sleep in my bed ! Take nap here!"

I melted, but then took him to his room lol

Maybe when he wouldn't fall out of her toddler bed, but doubtful because they'd be too rambunctious!

Moments like those make all the challenges worth it because you can't have the good without the bad.

Hilarious quote from G, Christmas style

G asks to hear stories, all.of.the.time.

It started out sweet, and sometimes it still is...but it also gets a bit annoying trying to come up with a story on a moments notice.

So at nap time today I decided to tell her Jesus' birthday story and that's why we celebrate Christmas. Yes, I know it's early but it's already in stores and we've been looking thru the Christmas stuff any time we are at Target. And she's been saying she wants a doll house for Christmas for like 2 months.

So anyways, I think it went just like this;

"You know how we celebrate Christmas? Well that's Jesus' birthday. That's what Christmas is. Cool, huh?"

"Yeah! Then when it's my birthday, it's MY Christmas, right?"

I said "yeah, kind of...but not really...errrr"

Lol

She's too much.

Also today, we had been butting heads a lot. Mostly I blame it on my stress, but regardless, it's been tense around here. Well, when I went to nurse J before nap she asked to come in and watch me. Which is kind of weird, but also kind of sweet? She just wanted to sit next to us...not like stare at me all creepily. I told her she could as long as she was VERY quiet. 

Turns out she can be quiet for a very long time. I was really impressed & it was very sweet to have my two babies in the dim and quiet peacefulness of J's room. 

Then she about ruined the mood by throwing a fit when we went to her room to get her ready. Ugh! Luckily it's date night (first in a long time!)

Halloweenie

G was a smart cookie

And j was a mizzou tiger

We had lots of fun this year :)

Happy Life and kid updates

Generally speaking, this present season of life is the happiest I have ever been. Praise God.

The kids aren't perfect, our house isn't perfect, my husband isn't perfect, I'm not perfect. But together? We are perfect. Sure, not by the world's standards....but by God's? Yup. Things get messy. Fits get thrown. I come down with the stomach flu while my husband is away on business and I have two young kids to take care of. My 2.5 year old gets the stomach flu two weeks later, and then so does my husband. My 11 month old son pulls hair like it's hilarious. He falls down a lot, and currently has a bruised eye and temple. There's not money enough to justify fixing things that could use fixing (but don't absolutely need it, so there's that!), or getting by husband a better truck. I lose my temper far too often. My kids don't sleep as good as they could, and they play favorites at the least opportune time. My husband doesn't always do things like I'd like them done....

BUT.

My husband did all of my weekend chores when he could have been working on the lawn, while I had the kids grocery shopping. He brought me flowers on Halloween. He cares about how I'm doing and listens. He plays with our kids. He doesn't complain when I hide away in the bathroom for a few minutes, er, 15 minutes, of peace. My marriage comes first and it shows. We work on things together. We check in and keep working at it. Without each other, we aren't half the people we are together. That's why we got married, duh, because we were meant to be together. I thank God several times a day for such a blessing in our vocation.
My kids give the best hugs, even if they don't last as long as I'd like sometimes...when they do, I savor the heck out of them. When G says, "I love you soooo much," part of me floats above the clouds. When J lays his head on my shoulder and breathes deep, I feel like I'm over the moon. Tears well up in my eyes when I reflect on how smart they are, and how fun it is to be their mom. I wish I could lay next to their peacefully sleeping bodies and soak in the love...but that'd be weird, I guess.
I love playing with them, and I am working on being more present during the day with them. It's not always easy, especially with working from home and having the type-A personality I do (As far as house cleanliness and organization goes). But by God, my family is worth the effort.

Tonight was great. I had made an eat-clean lasagna about a month ago and froze it. Tonight I served it for dinner and we had plenty of play time afterwards because the clean up was really easy. I think I should aim to do this once a week.

Anyways, just wanted to check in :-)

kid updates,

J -- loves pointing and is super speedy with his push-walker-toy. He's doing awesome in respect to milestones/health. He has a sleep study consult in two weeks and an orthopedic spine doctor appointment in December. He loves eating, and is working on self weaning, which I'm actually bummed about, but he's still nursing about 5 times in a 24 hr period. He can stack two blocks and tries for more. He's practicing shape sorting and likes playing kitchen. He's, thankfully, taken a great interest in books too. He learned to drink from a straw cup after trying for like 3 minutes. He's got the spoon to mouth motion down, but needs the fine motor skills to get the food on the spoon. He is really tough, and is all boy. I think he's really smart, but too busy to focus on it. Oh, and WOW he hates diaper changes.

G -- Holy terror of terrible 2-3-13, you name it. She's a firecracker...and I see too much of me in her. She's ridiculously smart, as in, my parents say she's smarter than me, so there's that. She enjoys Daniel Tiger and other PBS shows too much. She loves books, and we still go to the library every week. She drew her first "family" picture this week, it was awesome. She loves personal attention, and shines when she gets it. She loves helping, and is still the best big sister in the world. She's very well behaved in public and I just can't say enough about her vocabulary. I'm blessed for sure. <3