But then. It evolved into this monster roller coaster and I was along for the ride.
So long story short. I deactivated my facebook and it's been great. Ten years was a good run.
I've been thinking about doing it for a while now and what better new year self love is there than to rid myself of the drama and self inflicted negativity that comes from seeing others best moments played out. And the desire to reciprocate that. But I think I got better about that over the past few months when I made a pact with myself to avoid posting statuses and photos except for big events. I also got myself into too much misrepresentation waters by not realizing how I come off not as intended with my opinions.
The straw that broke the camels back was my sister and mom thinking I had an eating disorder because of whole 30. Then they messaged me on facebook about it. Not cool. At all.
A. Not an eat disorder. Quite the opposite. I feel so great not caring about portions and about knowing what goes in my body is the best fuel I can offer it to live my life. I do not believe grains offer me nutritional value and any added sugars are unnecessary to the diet. Dairy is meant for cows babies. Alcohol isn't necessary. Jury is out on legumes but I'll play along for a month. As I mentioned before I highly doubt we stay paleo after this month but even if we did... You can't criticize that as an "eating disorder." Especially if you don't classify eating Arby's or Taco Bell on even a semi regular basis as an eating disorder.
B. Messaging someone accusing them of needing a counselor via the Facebook is really impersonal. So if I take facebook out of the equation, problem solved on that issue.
C. I could make a whole post about how I feel about these allegations and how they made me bawl my eyes out from lack of supprt and understanding my intentions... But I won't. I usually don't care what people think. And I am who I am. But when it's people in my inner circle... Of course I take it personally because of I let you get that close to me... I trust you. If you hurt me in that manner... I get confused and cry and rationalize how this ever happened if my intentions were so pure. My husband says I have a hard personality to understand. Well. It sometimes sucks being green. Know what I mean? (Kermit yall.)
D. If you think I obsess about food. Sorry. I don't. I plan. I prepare. If that's obsessing. You're wrong. I obsess about nothing anymore. At least not for long periods of time.
E. If my last post mentioning that I had disordered thoughts about my body after my sons birth was too strong of a statement... Don't read my blog. It was honest. And I know only a tiny amount of moms who felt awesome about their post pregnancy body so I really don't think it was out of the realm of possibilities for me (who had just been through a traumatic c section) to feel like shit about myself. So when I was physically able I started working out and made nutritional changes for the better. That's a POSITIVE change, not obsessive.
Do I cook a lot? Yes. But we'd never eat if I didn't! Do I spend all my time thinking about food? Not at all.
So back to facebook and negativity and opinions. I'm just going to keep my stuff here. Oh and on Instagram. Still like that one. Especially for whole 30 tags.
Love to you all.