What is Grace? From a 3 year old perspective

My sweet husband taught G to say the "Hail Mary" prayer a few weeks ago and she's been perfecting it every night since. This past week she has been following up the prayer with a question about some word within the prayer. A few nights ago she asked me what sinner means, last night she asked me what holy means, and then tonight she asked me, "what is grace?"

Stop. My. Heart. or SMH for those abbreviation loving readers. She is so thoughtful, smart, and inquisitive.

My answers have been age appropriate but also as close to literal meaning as possible. I've told her that everyone is a sinner. That we all do bad things sometimes, and that if we aren't being good, that's sin. She's used it in hilarious context since. I told her that holy is the opposite of sinner. That people in Heaven are holy, and that if you are really good and be nice to other people then that is holy.
But tonight when she asked me about grace, it was so hard. How would you describe grace to a 3.5 year old??

The definition is "simple elegance or refinement of movement" or "the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings" or "to do honor or credit to by one's presence"

There's really no way to break that down on a kid level easily. So I gave it my best shot. And stuck to the Christian definition.

I said that grace is when God helps people be holy, or good. It is when people are full of good feelings and thoughts and they do good things for other people. She seemed happy with that but then followed up with, "where does grace come from?" So I said it comes from God and it's inside people. So then she asked how it gets there. {I wanted to tell her that we get it at Communion and at church, but I didn't want her to worry that since can't have grace since she doesn't get communion yet--so I left Communion out of it.} I just said we get it at church, when we go to church and sing songs and say prayers. Then God puts grace in our bellies. I said that it goes in our bellies like magic from God and then it goes up into our brains and helps us do good things for others. So then she asked how God does magic.... (I mean.... I don't know okay! LOL) I said that God can do anything and he is so awesome that everything comes from God and he can really do all kinds of cool things, even cooler magic than Abbie Cadabbie (from Sesame Street....).

She wasn't convinced. She asked several more times how God gets grace in our bellies. And I tried a few different word combinations to explain it. Then she absolutely floored me and said the following.
G: "I think that maybe God puts grace in our bellies when we go to communion and the big people up there give us stuff and we get grace from God in our bellies like that."


I KID YOU NOT. This amazing three year old just gave you the most basic description of the beauty of Jesus/God in the Eucharist. All by herself.

I love her. I love how beautiful her mind and heart are. Thank you Jesus for giving me this most amazing gift. God is so amazing and I just know he has been leading her little heart through this prayer and learning what all of the words mean in it.


And the coolest thing is that she started asking those questions all on her own because she wants to understand the words she has been taught. I know Mary is up in Heaven totally smiling and clearing a place for this sweet girl in heaven. She will move mountains some day. But for today.....she's a totally typical 3.5 year old that had a meltdown because she didn't want to leave her best friends house.

Clean Eating; Cauliflower Sweet Potato Butternut Squash Soup recipe

Earlier this year I got an immersion blender. It was actually free thanks to the-now-defunct-EcoBonus program. I collected points from buying things like Annie's Homegrown (now sold to General Mills), King Arthur Flour, and Seventh Generation. I redeemed them for a green kitchen aid stick blender. I mostly wanted it for a carrot soup recipe I haven't even made yet. It gets used a few times a month, so given the free cost....totally worth it!

I have most recently used it to make my latest soup recipe. I have created so many recipes over the past few months of non-blogging, but I've been to distracted by life to actually type them out. Lucky for you, I'm trying this re-branded blog and thus....here is my perfect fall soup recipe! And you guys....The name says it all.

Cauliflower Sweet Potato Butternut Squash Soup

1/2 onion, chopped

2-4 garlic cloves, depending on your love for garlic

1 medium butternut squash

1 large sweet potato or yam

1 good size head of cauliflower (a bag of frozen florets will work too)

 (organic is preferred for all above, not just because of chemicals and GMOs, but the taste is just better, but do what you can)

4 cups of clean chicken broth or stock (I make mine from crock pot roasted chickens, but if you must buy it, get a clean boxed kind)

2 cups of grassfed cream (you can also use full fat coconut milk for paleo approved but I think grassfed cream is close enough paleo)

2 cups of water (more or less to reach desired consistency)

salt and pepper to taste

a bit of cayenne if you want (I used several sprinkles and my kids didn't think anything of it)

First, wash and roast the sweet potato and butternut squash. I do this by cutting the potato in half and the squash in quarters lengthwise (scoop out seeds). I rub them with a little bit of olive oil and put them face down on a foil lined pan. Bake at 400 degrees for about 40 minutes or until fork tender. When they are done, start the broth boiling and add the onion, garlic, and cauliflower. While that boils, remove the skin from potato and squash. Once the cauliflower is nearing fork tender, add the squash and potato. Puree with immersion blender. (You can let it cool and use a stand blender if there's no immersion blender, but it's really not ideal since it's hot and probably too much for most blenders) Add cream and puree again to incorporate. Season to taste. Add water to loosen because at this point it's probably pretty thick. I added about 2.5 cups to make mine as soupy as we like it (and it was on the perfect side of rich and creamy).

I served mine with a bit of shredded parm on top and a grilled ham and cheese on the side.

Baby Shower - Flurry Theme

My sweet momma friend is expecting her second girl and I offered to throw her a baby shower. Most people call a second shower a 'sprinkle' but since she is due in the winter, and I am always trying to personalize things... I called it a flurry! I used helpful pinterest pins to piece together her cream and purple snow themed shower.

For the games we created a name for the baby and taped it to a straw to identify our cup. My friend then got to give the names superlatives like 'most likely' or 'most creative.' It's a fun way to know whose cup is whose :-)
We also played a word game, trying to make words out of the mom and dad and last names. The winner got a 'first snow day' candle.

We had lemon berry sparklers to drink as a mocktail using limonata, a bit of la croix cran-berry sparkling water, organic blueberry cranberry juice.

We had a salad bar with mixed greens, sugared pecans, dried cranberries, carrots, cucumbers, raspberries, pears, bell peppers, Gorgonzola cheese, Parmesan cheese, hard boiled eggs, and the dressing was Ina Garten's vinaigrette.

I also made the ham and cheese Hawaiian slider bake (I used provolone).
My friend brought a fruit salad :-)

I made double chocolate cupcakes with butter cream frosting. The cake and filling is here and the frosting I used is here.

For the guest book, guests wrote a little message on a strip of card stock and curled it up to fit into a clear ornament that I personalized with a paint marker.

For the centerpiece I used a super cute sequined hydrangea in a tall unique vase with a snowy tree trunk candle.

Favors were crochet ornaments. Also seen above is a book I got for her new baby! Sense and Sensibility (classics for babies).

Simple decor was a burlap wreath I made for my friend and tissue paper pinwheels with snowflake centers. I also displayed part of her gifts on purple rick rack and utilized a 'let it snow' sign I had.

Outer space with kids

My kids, mostly the 3.5 year old, have been super interested in planets, moon, stars, etc for a while now and recently we checked out a pretty awesome, though dated, book from the library.

It really helped her learn the planets better and we even did one of the projects out of it teach just how far apart things are on a visible scale.

It is -- http://www.amazon.com/Planets-System-Lets-Read-Find-Out-Science/dp/006445178X

The planets in our solar system by Branley

There are tons of kid solar system books out there and I just encourage you to start young with kids and science! Never too early to teach the scientific thought process and help them learn more about the world around them.

The first photo is of G's project (saturns rings are drawn on it rather than around, fyi) and the second is the awesome moon from our leaf walk yesterday around 5 pm

new name

maybe you noticed that I let lettersfrommomma.com expire?
Sad day, right?

Meh... I was never posting anyways! I guess it makes things harder to find now though, whoops.

I'm wanting to shift things over to more baking and parties and eating clean and life stuff anyways.

So I'm thinking Clean Kaylene :-)

I'll keep you posted.


maybe!

Two years!

It's been two years since we moved to Kansas.... I can't really say that time flies, because we've done so much in those two years that it seems like we've been here forever.
The time we spent in California seems so long ago, an entire kid ago, if you will!

Since we've been in this house we've upgraded it in small ways; mostly the exterior color (hooray for gray!) and some inside fixing-up and paint. It feels enough like a home, but it's not our forever home. So we've got that itching to move lately. We really want a bit of land with a kind of homestead...but it's out of our financial reach in the area we live, so we have talked about moving and can't reach anything conclusive. Don't worry, I'll keep you posted.

It's so strange to have been here this long. We haven't lived anywhere this long in the 6 years we've been married. No wonder my husband says he feels 'claustrophobic.' I wouldn't describe my feeling like that, but it's something for sure. I want to live in this area forever, but not knowing if we will or not causes me some stress.

I love the friends I've made here, and the family that isn't too far away, and my BFF that's less than 45 minutes away....and the kids are settled in with our favorite places and people and routines.

So I guess what I'm getting at is that we are at a tipping point. I told my husband the other day, we either agree to stay in this area for the foreseeable future, or we start planning to move and actually do it. Because I don't want to get any deeper than I already am, or it will hurt too bad when we leave. And I think we agreed that no area is better than the metro, so we'll just have to move outside the expensive land area if we want to get our 'homestead.' Good thing I'm planning to homeschool for a while because those school districts that we can afford aren't really great.




and while I have you, just a quick family update.

no races in our future, which is taking a toll on the waist lines LOL (but not too bad, thanks to still mostly clean eating)
I've been making all kinds of fun recipes, and I really should be better at blogging them... speaking of, I've been thinking of buying a new domain and letting this one revert...something to the affect of life with momma, or something like that... I thought maybe in the kitchen with momma, IDK
J is fully potty trained and it's awesome. He is such a big boy now, except for his lack of talking. We're working on that with speech therapy though. He is amazing at pretend play, and the therapist said she often forgets he's not 2.5 because of how advanced in all other areas he is. I think he's an albert eistein type for sure.
G is a real blessing (except for when her head is spinning around, KWIM?). She's so sweet, loving, and compassionate. She loves red still, and daniel tiger. She also is currently fascinated with learning the planets.(I think last time I really wrote, she was into the moon) Science FTW!
They both love helping me do just about anything, and doing projects keeps us busy.
Being outside was so awesome this fall and winter...hence why I didn't really blog! We were living the life man!
Fishing and park picnicking were our favorite past times--plus visiting family and taking our two trips.
And.... I'm still in physical therapy for my diastsis recti, and it's super sucky. Basically I need to have surgery but that sounds about like the worst thing ever to me.

Happy Fall Y'all!

Chocolate zucchini cake, eat clean

Yes. I am a fan of all things containing chocolate and zucchini. Here's another clean eating recipe containing them both!

My in laws were in town last night and we were having an awesome clean grilled dinner, and I had a zucchini that was getting pretty old. I figured it wouldn't be that good grilled, so I decided to whip up a dessert with it. Enter this thrown together from several online ideas...

Triple Chocolate zucchini cake

Clean eating

1/2 cup softened butter, grassfed preferred

1/2 - 1 cup honey or agave (vary it depending on your sweetness preference, and I used a combination of the two), local preferred for honey

3 eggs

1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce, organic preferred

Dash vanilla if you want

2 cups whole wheat flour (I used half white whole wheat and red whole wheat)

1/2 tsp baking powder, aluminum free

1/2 tsp baking soda

Several dashes of salt

1/4 cup Dutch Cocoa

1/4 cup cocoa powder

A few dashes of ginger

1 medium zucchini, grated

1/3 - 1/2 cup milk depending on how dry the batter looks, grassfed preferred or almond/coconut milk

10 oz dark chocolate chips or enjoy life chips

Combine butter and honey with mixer. Add applesauce, vanilla and eggs; mix well. In another bowl preferably, mix dry ingredients together then add to wet and combine. Add zucchini and whip with mixer, this helps the batter be more wet from the moisture being pressed out of zucchini from fast mixing (my kitchen aid is a champ!) and cake batter like. Add the milk to get adequate moisture. I used 1/3 cup, but you'll just have to see what yours is like because the zucchini you have may be more or less moist than mine was. You want the batter to resemble a mix between regular and Greek yogurt-like consistency. Kind of firm but kind of runny. Definitely not soupy and definitely not bread battery.

Bake in preheated 350 oven about 20-25 minutes until set. At that point put the chocolate chips on top and put back into turned off oven for a few minutes until they melt. Remove and carefully spread chocolate evenly. It's nice to serve about 10 minutes later because then it's kind of like a lava cake but you can let the chocolate harden and serve it later on. Refrigerate leftovers. Can also mix in chocolate chips into to batter for an over the top treat!

Clean eating BBQ sauce

• Cook 12 oz clean bacon (nitrate free) and save 3 pieces (you can eat the rest!) and remove about 2 spoonfuls of the grease (leave the rest)
• 1 - 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/4 onion, minced
• 1 6 - 7 oz jar (or can) of tomato paste 
• 2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar
• 2 Tbsp molasses
• 1 Tbsp honey
• 3 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce (the cleaner the better)
• .66 cup water 
• .75 Tsp salt Salt
• .75 Tsp pepper

Instructions

After the bacon has been cooked and you've removed the two spoonfuls of grease, use the remaining grease to sautee the garlic and onion. 

Then add remaining ingredients and simmer for 30 minutes.

Turn the heat off and carefully use an immersion blender to make it smooth. If you don't have an immersion blender. Let the mixture cool and use a regular blender to combine into smooth sauce.

Keeps up to 2 weeks in the fridge. feel free to add some heat via hot sauce or peppers!

potty win bed fail

So it took about a week, but J to use the potty!! I don't know how, because it seemed like we were in for a long training period (As with G), but I think we started young enough there wasn't a battle for control. That first week was stressful for sure...but 8/17 he woke up and just had it under control!! I'm so glad. Nap and nights are a different story. And he may get those if we pushed it, but since he doesn't wake up dry in the morning and rarely does at nap time, I figure we'd be in for many nights of changing sheets and after doing it for forever with G, I just want to wait on it for a while. My husband agrees.

Then there is the climbing out of bed incident that just happened. UGH! I didn't think we were there yet.
One major reason for not wanting to sleep-time train him was we wanted to keep him in a crib longer since we know he won't stay in his bed like G did. He's way to adventurous. So we thought we'd bide our time for a while, then rip the band-aid off and do both undies-while-sleeping and staying-in-your-bed training at once.

Guess it's not gonna happen because he popped his little cute head into my room today during nap time!! I instantly felt my heart drop....like, "are you kidding me!?" He looked shocked about it too, so I didn't scold him or anything, just told him to stay in his bed and go to sleep.
I should have just went with my gut and started it this past weekend, as he had started throwing huge fits about wearing a diaper to bed. I just really didn't want to lose sleep. Mom fail.

I'll keep you posted.

In other news his vocalizing is really improving, I'd give him another two weeks before true words come and I'm SO excited for it.

In more other news, we're busy as ever with work, playing, cooking, housekeeping, and attempts at being social...so forgive the lack of creative writing of this post!

Stuff on my mind.....potty, food, and Babies.

Hi, me again!
I'm so stressed on from potty training already and it's only day three. I don't regret starting, I just wish I was stronger. I did pretty well keeping my cool the first two days, but today (With my hubby back at work, and he is clearly my rock) I just lost it. I screamed so loud at J, I just feel terrible. UGh. Pick up the pieces and move forward....
He has to figure it out for himself and I have to be there to guide him...but when he pees two feet from the potty and then runs through it, slips and falls on the wood floor I feel sooooooooo angry... Not with my 20 month old kid....just with the fact of the matter.
As in.... why can't I do this for him? Please nature, just let me take the lead on this one.
If not that, Why can't he learn instantly? If he knows how to hold it, why can't he figure out how to let it go when he's on the potty and not next to it. Why did we have to do the most ridiculous things until nearly 11 pm last night just to get the kid to poop......he was holding it and I just wish I could explain to him how to relax and let it go..... UGH. control. he needs it, I wish I had it, it just sucks.
I have prayed so hard for patience and understanding. I have prayed for God to please just give me a break on this one...but I'm pretty sure God laughs and says, "listen lady, I've given you a break on nearly every other aspect of your life, you have it SO GOOD, this is your cross, bare it with grace."
OK! Thanks God. Easier said than done and you know it! There is a reason for everything. And I am a sinner. I was doing good, but now I'm human and I screamed at my baby. I feel horrible. Sometimes, though, a momma lion roars at her cubs, and ya know what? It's necessary.... but I guess they pee and poop where ever they damn well please. Thanks for nothing domestication.
For all of you out there saying, "oh just wait....he's not ready" .... go back and ready my potty training stuff with G. Same story. My kids are so similar. Thus, we carry on. I made the mistake of trying "kind of" with G and then it took 3 months for her to figure it out when we finally did go through with official potty training, so I'm not making that rookie mistake here. We set a date, knew he was ready enough, and are going through with it, my frustration and patience be damned. And if it takes 3 months anyway, well then I'll have a potty trained 23 month old and be diaper free for the first time in almost 4 years.... I'll take it. This is my blog and I'm ranting about it for a second, sorry.

Onto other things. I wanted to share a few links about food I found interesting. These are things we already do in our house, but maybe you don't know them so check them out. Eat clean is the bomb.
soy is bad for you. 
don't give your kid soy formula for the love of all things holy.
politically correct food myths
 nutrition food myths
I like this cat, I need to do more of these.

thanks to my husband's aunt who posted this article that led me to the website that the stuff above comes from.

And for my final thought, I have been in baby fever mode for a few months now. And I know two moms with kids with CDPX1 are expecting babies! And both of them are having healthy girls. How blessed and wonderful for them!! On one hand, it kind of makes me not want to press my luck since our girl came first, but then it also kind of makes me want to believe a healthy next kid would happen!

My husband and I are just a big ball of nerves and uncertainty when it comes to 'do we or don't we?' because what happens if we get a blood test done and it comes back positive for CDPX1 (or anything thing else for that matter because Lord knows there's a million things that could go 'wrong' when a baby is created).........we'd feel so terrible for choosing to conceive knowing the bad that could come from it.
But then it makes it seem like we are playing God by being too scared of the potentially bad outcome rather than trusting God to make good of whatever happens.
Ugh. It sucks sometimes, being an intelligent being with life experience.
I mean, look at the animals in nature....just reproducing without a fear in the world because it's all they know.... and if it goes wrong.....well.....that's the circle of life.
And look at the newly married couples so excited to have a baby or promiscuous teens having unplanned babies or the older couples trying desperately to conceive using whatever means necessary...........they just want the baby but haven't been slapped with reality (And I pray they never are) that SO many things have to go "just right" for that baby to turn out "normal."
So many pregnancies end in miscarriage because the cells just didn't match up. The body just couldn't do it. Something went wrong. 
So many kids are, through no fault of anyone, born different from what society tells us is 'typical.' And then there are the young kids diagnosed with cancer or diabetes or a disease no one has heard of.... and no one saw it coming.
Taking on the role of parent is one I really think too many people take lightly because they don't WANT to think about it. It's easier to think of all the happy things, because the bad things may never happen...and I definitely think that's the better thing to do. Don't plan for bad until bad happens, generally speaking, because life is too short.
But then there's little ole me. With a crappy X chromosome. So I DO have to think about it. Because that's the responsible thing to do.
How do I grapple with this? I'm sure most people would say.... you have a boy and a girl, be happy, call it quits, move on with your life. And I think that's good advice, but man I feel a huge tug in my heart for another baby. So then adopt you say.... Are you going to give me the thousands of dollars it takes? Are you going to help me get my milk back? Plus, that's kind of like taking an even bigger risk, because God love them, many kids needing adopting often have a condition that may cost a lot of money to treat or may be life long. Does that mean they are any less deserving of love? Certainly not, I'm simply stating it's a decision to be weighed as heavily as the should we conceive our own kid or not.
I guess I also hate being pregnant too, and I hate what it did to my stomach (And am still dealing with all of that mess) so if I AM going to go through it again, I'd rather just not fix it now because it'd happen again... And since I am in physical therapy now trying to fix it, I am trying to decide if I should quit PT and plan to have another baby in the future (not right now or anything, next year or the year after) or if we are just done-done, and get on with the story.... because how long does adoption take anyway? Or maybe we are just full at a family of 4.... I just don't always feel that way.
....but man potty training is a good natural birth control (speaking of, NFP is going much better this time around, thank you very much. Props to my handy Kindara app).
love to you all.