Thursday, June 27, 2013

Fits & Such

Not to be out done on the blog by her brother, G has been throwing fits of the century in order to obtain some wordage on Letters from Momma.
eating a pb&h like a big girl-not cut into bite size pieces!

I knew it was inevitable. I was surely a terror for my mom. Not the tear the house up, hit other kids, run off in stores kind of kid....but the screaming bloody murder at the slightest sign of authority kind of kid.

And I birthed my own 28 months ago. It's genetic and probably tied to intelligence. My mom and I are not identical, we have our similarities, sure, but we are pretty different in many ways. My husband and my dad are super different. And yet our daughter is miss-temper/miss-feisty just like I was. My mom used to say that I acted like I was smarter than everyone and attributed my fit-throwing and behavior to that. Maybe part of that is true? I think I was just forming my inner-moral-compass and exerting my belief that I could do things on my own. (I know I can't do everything, but I would certainly try) I'm independent and a super-hard worker...Baby I was born that way--and so was my daughter.
recent selfie

I love her to pieces, and she has her sweet moments, but there hasn't been a day in over a week that didn't have at least 2 MAJOR meltdowns.

But I am getting better at handling them, and I know that she is only 2 (but between you and me, the fits will only get worse from now until the time she's...11 or so, because that's when words become more powerful...and if she's like me, she'll wield them like a sword).

on our mommy&me date (first real one since J was born)

Unconditional love is something I am good at, I think, and I really try to set her up for success as far as keeping her fed, well-rested, etc (though we don't live in a perfect world). I'm working on not showing how frustrated she can make me at all, because that only fuels the fire. The past 2-3 days, I really do stuff it down and "kill her with kindness." I know she'll probably make me cry as she gets older, and managing her as a toddler is preparation for all that is to come. I hope it's all worth it, and that when she's a mom herself...she will have this incredible respect, adoration, and love for me... because she will know she treated me like crap half the time, and I loved her through it all, and was always there for her. Thanks mom.

What has she thrown fits about?
The biggest one has been about wanting to turn a light off... and I told her, "sure, go ahead" but then she wouldn't do it & was wasting time, so I said alright mommy will just do it...and I did it. Because, duh, you have to follow through on what you say as a parent. So then for the next 40 minutes she was a big screaming, blubbering, slobbering, fingers-in-the-mouth-crying, mess. Awesome.
She also threw a fit about needing to 'hurry up and get ready for gymnastics.' Yeah...something fun!! What the heck.
I'm pretty sure it's simply my authority that sets her off...I know that's usually what got me mad as a kid too...not being old enough to do my own thing.

She's too big for her britches, I tell you. I know I could let her have her way, and not have to deal with her fits...but that wouldn't teach her about the world and she'd end up like all the kids I see these days that drive me batty. (You know the type...instant gratification, no respect, entitlement, etc,etc). I do pick and choose my battles, though, because it doesn't really matter on some things. I'm just trying to teach her about life and respect and major rules.

I would much, much, much rather have it this way than have a kid who didn't question things. I think she will be a strong-willed woman, just like me, and I'm glad. I just have to help her learn to control her personality so that she uses it for good and not bad. Nothing like a challenge, eh?

I don't really need advice or anything. Between knowing how my own mom handled me, knowing what the parenting magazines say, and knowing how I would have handled myself, I've really got a handle on it. What I do need is a support group that says, "hey, Kaylene, you are an awesome mom and this too shall pass because yeah, she's crazy, and drives you batty sometimes, but she also gives the best hugs and loves you so much that she wants to be just like you."

Here's to hoping that J continues to prove himself as the "easy kid" ;-)

1 comment:

  1. Oh poor thing. I know just how you feel. Except I have a son doing it. My step son was so easy and never had meltdowns. never questioned, just behaved. my 2 year old son is purely me! He has the same attitude your daughter does and has had major melt downs daily for a good month now. Over things as silly as me flushing the toilet instead of letting him flush it for me! You're not crazy. Everyone says this will pass and I sure hope it passes sooner than later! LOL


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