Fits & Such

Not to be out done on the blog by her brother, G has been throwing fits of the century in order to obtain some wordage on Letters from Momma.

eating a pb&h like a big girl-not cut into bite size pieces!

I knew it was inevitable. I was surely a terror for my mom. Not the tear the house up, hit other kids, run off in stores kind of kid....but the screaming bloody murder at the slightest sign of authority kind of kid.

And I birthed my own 28 months ago. It's genetic and probably tied to intelligence. My mom and I are not identical, we have our similarities, sure, but we are pretty different in many ways. My husband and my dad are super different. And yet our daughter is miss-temper/miss-feisty just like I was. My mom used to say that I acted like I was smarter than everyone and attributed my fit-throwing and behavior to that. Maybe part of that is true? I think I was just forming my inner-moral-compass and exerting my belief that I could do things on my own. (I know I can't do everything, but I would certainly try) I'm independent and a super-hard worker...Baby I was born that way--and so was my daughter.

recent selfie

I love her to pieces, and she has her sweet moments, but there hasn't been a day in over a week that didn't have at least 2 MAJOR meltdowns.

But I am getting better at handling them, and I know that she is only 2 (but between you and me, the fits will only get worse from now until the time she's...11 or so, because that's when words become more powerful...and if she's like me, she'll wield them like a sword).



on our mommy&me date (first real one since J was born)



Unconditional love is something I am good at, I think, and I really try to set her up for success as far as keeping her fed, well-rested, etc (though we don't live in a perfect world). I'm working on not showing how frustrated she can make me at all, because that only fuels the fire. The past 2-3 days, I really do stuff it down and "kill her with kindness." I know she'll probably make me cry as she gets older, and managing her as a toddler is preparation for all that is to come. I hope it's all worth it, and that when she's a mom herself...she will have this incredible respect, adoration, and love for me... because she will know she treated me like crap half the time, and I loved her through it all, and was always there for her. Thanks mom.



What has she thrown fits about?

The biggest one has been about wanting to turn a light off... and I told her, "sure, go ahead" but then she wouldn't do it & was wasting time, so I said alright mommy will just do it...and I did it. Because, duh, you have to follow through on what you say as a parent. So then for the next 40 minutes she was a big screaming, blubbering, slobbering, fingers-in-the-mouth-crying, mess. Awesome.
She also threw a fit about needing to 'hurry up and get ready for gymnastics.' Yeah...something fun!! What the heck.
I'm pretty sure it's simply my authority that sets her off...I know that's usually what got me mad as a kid too...not being old enough to do my own thing.

She's too big for her britches, I tell you. I know I could let her have her way, and not have to deal with her fits...but that wouldn't teach her about the world and she'd end up like all the kids I see these days that drive me batty. (You know the type...instant gratification, no respect, entitlement, etc,etc). I do pick and choose my battles, though, because it doesn't really matter on some things. I'm just trying to teach her about life and respect and major rules.

I would much, much, much rather have it this way than have a kid who didn't question things. I think she will be a strong-willed woman, just like me, and I'm glad. I just have to help her learn to control her personality so that she uses it for good and not bad. Nothing like a challenge, eh?

I don't really need advice or anything. Between knowing how my own mom handled me, knowing what the parenting magazines say, and knowing how I would have handled myself, I've really got a handle on it. What I do need is a support group that says, "hey, Kaylene, you are an awesome mom and this too shall pass because yeah, she's crazy, and drives you batty sometimes, but she also gives the best hugs and loves you so much that she wants to be just like you."

Here's to hoping that J continues to prove himself as the "easy kid" ;-)

J's Birth Story

Around 23 weeks pregnant, Lake Tahoe, CA 8/2012

Everyone knows my pregnancy wasn't the most delightful experience. From about 2 weeks on, I felt this....anxiety and fear that something was, or would go, wrong. I can't explain how it came to be, just that it was there and I couldn't shake it. My mom said that being so far from family probably contributed to it. I think that's probably true. But I maintain, and always will, that I had "mother's intuition" that this wasn't a normal pregnancy. I also call it a God thing. I believe everything happens for a reason....His reason. For wordiness' sake, here's how it came to be that I delivered J at the same hospital and with the same midwife/doctor practice as I did G...even though we started out half way across the country.


My seemingly irrational fear that I would die in child birth, or the baby would be lost ---> I nagged my husband every week, if not several times a week, that we needed to get back to the Midwest before November ---> my husband said he would try ---> our 20 week ultrasound showed "abnormal" nasal structure, or lack there of ---> my fears were validated ---> we thought maybe our son had Down's Syndrome ---> my husband requested a transfer back to the home office, though he never said anything indicitive of trouble, simply that we wanted to be closer to family for our son's birth, since he would have been moved soon after anyways ---> we house hunted over Labor Day ---> Moved just before what was considered "un safe" for me to be traveling (32 weeks)

Sometime in there, you might recall, I had blood drawn for a Harmony Blood Test that is fairly new, but also pretty reliable at telling if the baby has trisomies on the 13, 18, or 21 chromosome.  It came back very low risk (1/10,000).... so we were left wondering just what was going on with our son.

My old midwife was happy to have me back, and I was thrilled to be back. I told her all about my fears, and pretty much requested an ultrasound to check on the baby. I convienently measured a tad big, plus they hadn't seen the baby on ultrasound for themselves, so she had me schedule an ultrasound for the following week. Turns out....my amniotic fluid levels were higher than 'normal.' You might recall, I slightly got freaked out because nothing seemed to be normal with this pregnancy. I had so many ultrasounds through the last few weeks of my pregnancy, I forget how many. I think like 5 or 6?

We planned a natural birth and I truly believed it wouldn't happen. Yeah, I wanted it, and I hoped for it, but again with the mother's/woman's intuition. Thus, I questioned my doula/doula's back up a bit harder about their preperation for births that go wrong, I played the what if game a lot more with my midwife, I came up with plans A-D on what to do with G should I go in to labor or have an emergency situation, and I prayed. I talked to my husband and mom about how I was feeling, a lot. I'm thankful to have had the both of them, so that neither of them took 100% of my emotions.

I tried to focus on the positive things. We were back close{r} to family. We had a home. We had all necessary supplies. Our baby was big, growing wasn't an issue. I was uncomfortable beyond all get out, but I could still move and take care of G. I wasn't on bed rest. Alleluia to that. My BFF threw my an awesome baby shower. My birthday was pretty fantastic. Baby boy was free to come any time after that.

I had practice contractions for what seemed like a month, but they didn't do anything. Once I thought things were serious, and even had plans A and C activated (my husband's cousin came over in the middle of the night until my mother-in-law could get here), but it was a true false alarm.

12/15/12 - all the excitement provoked baby boy out :-)

On December 15, we had a full day of Christmas-themed fun with my sister in town. Then my in-laws called (or texted, I don't remember) my husband to say that they were no longer going to come over on Christmas, as had been the plan, but instead were coming TOMORROW. Yeah, I about freaked out. I mean, I am super pregnant, and had plans for Christmas. I did not have supplies or plans for an early Christmas feast on less than 24 hour notice. (I know you guys read this, so don't be offended, but I really was pretty thrown off! Everything worked out, though, obviously) I called my mom to complain about how unprepared I was, and she told me that it'd likely spur the baby to be born, and I agreed that would be nice so that my father-in-law could be here (since he works a retail schedule, it's hard to pin him down). I politely-ish told my husband to inform his parents that we could go out to eat, or order in, but I was not cooking a Christmas feast. We went to bed with plans to go to church, eat out, and exchange gifts with the in-laws.

I slept horribly during both of my pregnancies. It's just how my body operates. But usually my best sleep was around 5-8 in the morning. I woke up at 6 am with this ridiculous urge to go finish the ironing, which was the only thing left on my to-do-list. As I stood in our basement, ironing my husband's work clothes, I prayed a whole lot and talked to the baby. I asked God, St. Gerard, and St. Gianna to let us both live. I prayed that if someone had to die, please let it be me, not the baby, and I told the baby how much I loved him already. I know all of this sounds melodramatic, but you guys, you really have no idea how much anxiety I was trying to suppress the whole pregnancy. Also while downstairs, I messaged my mother-in-law and told her that I felt like today was really the day, and that if she could bring some extra clothes to maybe stay the night with G, if needed...

After I finished up the ironing, I carried it upstairs and crawled back into bed. A bit later, we got up for the day and I told my husband about my feelings. Contractions picked up past the practice-feelings I had been experiencing. These started being painful enough I gritted my teeth and focused on breathing. We all got ready for church, and I had a few more contractions. They weren't stopping with relaxing or moving, so I assumed it was real. My mood around the house was kind of tense, because I didn't want my water to break. Part of having too much fluid is the concern that the baby's cord could come out first, which would basically cut off blood to the baby. It's a pretty risky business.

I am clearly an advocate for natural birth, and don't think people who have home births are crazy, but mothers with extreme polyhdraminos (what I had) are usually turned away by home birth midwives, or atleast they are by the ones who know what's best. Things can go bad really fast....but everyone kept telling me how rare that is, and how I shouldn't be worried, and blah blah blah.

The truth is, with G, I wanted to avoid the hospital for as long as possible, but with J, I needed to be there when my water broke, for safety's sake. My worst fear was that the baby would die waiting for an ambulance to get to my house if my water broke and his cord prolapsed. My midwife, at one point, told me that babies can "survive" like 8 minutes or something before things go "drastically" wrong.... so an ambulance would be almost a gamble too. Knowing all these things, you probably think I should have had a scheduled C-Section to pull J out before I even went into labor...but even now, looking back, I would NOT have chosen that method. I'll tell you why in a minute.

12/16/12 before church. I forgot just how huge I was

Alright back to the story. We all got ready for church. During driving the short, 9 minute drive to church, I had a painful contraction. While in the parking lot, I had another pretty painful contraction, that I'm still able to kind of talk through. My sister or husband, I forget which one, said maybe we shouldn't go into church. I said that we were there anyways, and I didn't want to miss Mass. Plus, it's nice to distract yourself from labor by staying busy or focusing on other things.

Although I had crazy visions of my water breaking during Mass, and screaming "is there a doctor in the house!?" I felt called to make it through mass. The contractions definitely picked up during Mass, and I was kind of patting myself on the back for making it through, without too much distraction to other people. After church, in the car, I informed everyone that this baby was in fact, coming today. There was no going back. My in-laws showed up at our house not long after we got home. I think they were pretty excited, but also unsure of what to do, or so it seemed to me. I requested Panera for lunch, it was the only thing that sounded good. Half a Turkey Bravo and a cup of Sonoma Chicken Stew, with whole grain bagette for a side. {Panera, if you are out there, feel free to send me free stuff as a token of your appreciation!!} A few times during lunch I shot up out of my chair and hurried to our powder room, that's just around the corner from the kitchen / dining room. I didn't want everyone, primarily G and my father-in-law, to watch me deal with increasingly painful contractions. After lunch, we told our doula to head to our house. In between lunch and her arrival, we did the gift thing :-) Then she went down for her nap.

I was super grateful when our doula arrived. She came up to my room with me. I told my husband to stay and chat with his parents, since he hadn't seen them in a while, and our doula was getting paid to help me ;-)
Looking back, I feel like I pretty much rocked labor. I mean, I was breathing through contractions. I was avoiding focusing on the negative. I was "hunkered" down in my birthing mindset. I think there were a few times I questioned whether it was time to go or not...and our doula told me that I would know when it was time. I was also worried that if G woke up from her nap, and I was in contraction pain, she'd freak out, so I kind of wanted to leave before she woke up....but I also didn't want to get there too early (like with G, I got there and I was at two cm dilated, even though my water had broken and I was seriously sure I was dying of pain).

I forgot to say that I started loosing a whole bunch of mucous earlier in the morning. Like a lot. I thought I had lost it earlier in the week. Well, there was a ridiculous amount more. And it kept coming throughout the day, but never amniotic fluid.

So, contractions were pretty regular, but never "by the book." I know they are supposed to get longer, closer together, etc etc... But mine kind of just did their own thing...just like with G. I knew it was real labor, though, because they hurt like a motherbear, and they weren't stopping. They were achy, stabbing, and crampy all at the same time. Some were longer than others, some came closer together, almost on top of each other, some took a 10 minute break. Whatev.

I talked with our doula between them, and tried to bounce/roll on the birth ball as often as possible, but I kept feeling SO much pressure. I was dreadfully uncomfortable, but managing. I had thoughts of, "this isn't THAT bad" and "I can do this" but also thoughts of "ouch, ok, this sucks" and "let's just get this over with." I made myself sit on the ball more often than I wanted to, because I knew it would move things along. I also finished packing. (Things were mostly packed, I just had toiletries/camera/last minute things to add) When the contractions were really bad, leaning over the bed was the most comfortable I could get.

I was much more aware during this labor. During G's I was in HELL from 11 pm until she was born a bit before 9 AM. It was just a full-steam-ahead-train of pain. I think it's became my water had broken. With J, it was a bit easier. It was more mellow, and I was more mellow. My body knew what to do, and I had a large cushion of fluid. That's not to say it didn't hurt. It did. But it wasn't hell.

Around 4ish, we moved from the bedroom to the basement, so that G could get up from her nap, without seeing or hearing us. I remember I had tried to turn on Whitney (always made me laugh), but couldn't focus since the contractions had ramped up, so it wasn't worth it. I think the move down two flights of stairs kicked things up a notch, because we weren't downstairs very long before I officially decided it was time to go.

Here's the most asinine part of the whole story. I had my husband called the midwife office, and God love him, but he got something all screwy, or the call service did, or they both did. I don't know. It took forever to figure out who was on call, that I was in fact in labor, and that I requested a midwife. I think part of the problem was that the doctor on call had the same last name as my midwife, who was not on call (a different midwife was), and my poor husband was probably frantic because we were having a baby. I definitely was at that moment, anyways.

Things got straightened out. The car got loaded. I choked back tears as I tried to tell G good-bye, because in my heart-of-hearts, I feared it could be the last time she saw her mother. She was fairly preoccupied with her new Christmas toys, though, so I was a little bummed about the lack of attention she gave me, but it was for the best.

I felt a lot of relief the second we got to the hospital, because I knew that if my water broke, we were in the right place to handle it if things went wrong. I just felt a lot better.

My husband dropped me off at the front door, which was a nice change from with G...when it was the middle of the night, and we had to go in the ER doors. My husband and our doula got inside, and we took the elevator up to the third floor. I was actually pretty excited at that point. Things were going so well, I allowed myself to feel good.
Triage was a whole different experience this time. First of all, I could talk. I moved without dying, and I actually made light of the whole situation. With G...I swore I was about to have a baby and I was only 2 centimeters dialated. So with J, I about fell out of the bed when the triage nurse told me I was a 6. a SIX. Holy cow. My life was instantly better. I got admited automatically-sweet! We mosied down to the same room where G was born, and I was pretty thrilled that J and G would be born in the exact same place. How fun. Oh, best part, the triage nurse had a Mary necklace on. I asked if she was Catholic, and she was. Another plus for my night.

It was like 6 pm at this point.

The midwife on call was the only one out of the four that I hadn't got around to seeing--she was new from the last time I had been there. Turns out, she is absolutely amazing. They got baby boy on the monitor for a 20 minute strip and then I was free to move around. So different from G. It was soon time for a shift change, and things were slow--although after we came in, tons more moms did and they actually ended up filling up!

My husband, doula, and I went for a lap around the LDR area. We handled a few contractions on our route. Then we got back into the room...things were ramping up. My midwife was actually in the room as much, if not more than our nurse. She helped me through contractions, and was really like the leader of our team. She was all about making my labor easier, and wanted us to achieve the birth we wanted. She was really sweet and compassionate. It was exactly what I needed this time around. My original midwife, who delivered G, is less sweet, and more direct. She was exactly what I need for that birth. Things work out.

At some point, I'm 9 cm dilated, my midwife is rubbing my ankles, and we are pretty much ready to have a baby. But my water hadn't broken at this point. My midwife (And I) didn't think it was possible for baby boy to be born in his amniotic sac...there was 33 cubic centimeters of fluid in there. The most likely outcome would be that it would burst during a push, and a scary situation could happen at that point. So she suggested putting a small hole in the sac to let some of the fluid trickle out, as she guided baby boy's head down...because he was still really "floaty," as she called it.

This midwife is probably the best I'll ever encounter, and if you live in the metro area, I highly recommend her. She did everything right.

She proposed the above plan, but also called the doctor on call from the practice. She wanted to have him on stand by, because it was, at this point, kind of a crap shoot. She was confident we could still have our natural birth, but she said that she is the kind of person that likes to have "her ducks in a row, but not need them, rather than the other way around."

The doctor came in to size up the situation. I have never had a male OB/GYN, and I was bummed the doctor on call was a guy...but oh well.

He was pretty worried about how "floaty" baby boy was. By floaty, they meant that I was basically ready to have a baby, but that baby was bouncing around in his fluid too much for it to be a truly safe delivery. Sometimes he'd be "engaged" and ready to come out, but then a little bit later, he'd be back up high. The midwife and doctor both thought that the water really needed to break. Controlling the breaking of the water was the safest way to ensure J survived. It was a concession I was willing to make at this point (my birth plan had asked to avoid artificial breaking of water).

The small hole that the doctor put into the amniotic sac, allowed some water out, but then basically plugged itself back up. They ended up breaking the water completely, while one of them pushed at the top of my uterus, attempting to keep baby boy down, and the other "guided" his head down. I was fairly out of it at this point, because the pain was excruciating. I think I was crying, and I was definitely yelping in pain. There aren't the appropriate words in the English language to describe just how freaking painful this all was. I don't know how long this went on, but it couldn't have been that long...

The next thing I knew, I heard "emergency" and "now" and "section" and beeping from the machine. I asked what was wrong...and they said that baby boy's heart rate was dropping and his shoulder was now into the birth canal. My midwife looked at my sternly and said the words I had been waiting to hear for months. "Kaylene. We have to get your baby out. now." I was crying, but bit my lip and nodded. I said. Ok. Ok.

Through sobs, I told my husband how much I loved him. I told him he was a great dad, and he could raise the kids by himself. I told my doula that her job was to make sure G knew how much I loved her. I was scared to death. It was the most surreal feeling. I know people have c-sections all the time, and don't die. But the way this went down was so, so fast, scary, and unplanned.

I was wheeled out the door and into the operating room, which was right next to my room anyways. I will never forget the next few minutes, and I don't feel it's necessary to share. But I was subjected to even more excrutiating pain, while I begged them to keep me and the baby alive. The anestiologist assured me they do this all the time, I'm in good hands, blah blah blah. I was alone and I was scared, so thanks but no thanks. I made my peace with God. It consisted of me saying, Lord forgive me for my sins, I tried my best, please let me go to Heaven, bless my kids and husband and family. Then I was out.

It took them 8 minutes to get J out from the time I was wheeled out of my room, my husband wasn't even scrubbed in by the time J was 'born.' He got into the room just as they were getting J under the warmer. There had been a NICU team in the room, but J's apgar's were 8-9-9, so they dismissed him as perfectly fine and went on their merry way.

fairly new

I wish I had a picture of the first thing I saw when I woke up. I know first I moaned in agony, and then caught a blurry/groggy glimpse of my husband who{seemingly} had teary eyes, half under a blanket. I asked how the baby was, they said he was fine, and that his dad was holding him....relief. A few weeks prior I had confirmed with my husband that if we had to have an emergency c-section, that he would hold the baby skin-to-skin as soon as possible. I was so relieved he remembered. That image will forever be etched in my memory. But I was also in horrible pain that no medicine would ever fully take away.
Very shortly after waking up, they brought J over to me to nurse. My husband had been letting him suck on his pinkie until I was awake....I remember the look on my husband's face when he came over to me...it was one of relief and love. He said, "he's hungry!" I did my best to nurse J, but it was not the start I had hoped for. But it was certainly better than the negative outlook my anxiety had prepared me for.

breastfeeding is really important to me, and to J. I'm sure it helped him in those early minutes. I'm extremely proud of this precious photo. Sure, what's implied is personal, but honestly, you see more in certain advertisements these days.

late night snuggles on me 12/16 - 12/17/12

J was with us for a day and a half before being taken to the NICU

We got into our Mother/Baby room and the rest is history.... My road to recovery was quite long, complex, and painful. J was sent to the NICU for monitoring since he breathing was labored at times. He nursed great, though, it was just exhausting for him to eat and breathe....but he has made it great thus far. He was diagnosed with Chondradysplasia punctata based on clinical and radiology findings while in the NICU.

We were all home in time for Christmas.

Headed home 12/22/12

---So even now, I wouldn't go back and do a pre-scheduled C-Section. It is my belief that J benefited greatly from the stimulation that labor and nearly being birthed naturally gives to a baby's lungs. J's breathing situation is already a bit challenged thanks to his small nose and nasal passages, so going through labor is definetly helpful for encouraging his system to mature up to life-sustaining-levels. Things happened just as they were supposed to. Sure, sometimes I get bummed that it didn't go naturally as planned...but my labor was natural and great. J's birth was completely reliant on modern medicine, and without it he'd be dead and I might have been too. God wanted him here, and gave him quite the dramatic entrance.

Potty Post, vol 1

Yes, here comes the mom-blog-right-of-passage potty post I know you are all dreading/anticipating.

excited with her potty treat-gummies!

First, some background. I bought G's first potty around the time she hit 14 months old. She peed on the potty for the first (And only, I'd come to realize) time on Mother's Day. I got so excited, but didn't want to push anything. I took a pretty casual approach to potty time until July or so. My mother and mother-in-law had me and my husband potty trained around 18 months or so, and since G is a genius combination of both of us, I just knew G could do that. I tried a bare-bottom day, that turned into a morning, because I couldn't handle the constant cleaning up. Mistake one, I know. Lack of commitment. I caught a few poops on the potty, and we'd sit. Oh Lord, we'd sit. But no pee. Ever. Even after an hour of Elmo videos on my phone. There started my frustration, and her learning to hold it. Out of contempt, perhaps, or out of trying to please me, I don't know. Mistake two is right there...trying to find reason.

So potty training didn't happen before the move. I thought about doing it before J arrived, but meh. I was too worn out and trying to manage a new home with a "high(er) risk" pregnancy, it didn't happen. Then there was talk about training her in the 3 weeks my husband was planning to take off work after the baby was born. But then that crazy traumatic birth sitch happened, and the potty/new baby/recovering momma combo was completely ludicris.

Moving Journal part 2 {Thursday Chaos}

Thursday, 10/18

G didn't sleep well overnight, either, waking several times, crying from 3-3:30 am, and getting us all up 30 minutes earlier than necessary at 6:50 am. We ate breakfast at the hotel (not free, unfortunately), and packed up again. We had planned the easiest way to get the car, car seat, 6 bags plus a diaper bag and backpack, toddler, and pregnant woman (plus husband) to the airport. We decided that my husband would take the car with two bags and backpack (and car seat) to the economy parking lot (so that it'd be there upon his return). I took G and diaper bag with me on the hotel shuttle bus, since the driver would help me load the other 4 bags. This was great to begin with. My husband didn't have any trouble getting his light load to the airport, and G and I did fine on the way there. The driver unloaded our bags, but the trouble began with trying to get us across the 6 lane road separating us from the drop off point and the door. Eventually, my husband ended up running away from his bags sitting outside the airport door (I know this is a TSA violation to leave bags unattended, but they were always in our sight, so don't tell on us). He met us at the cross walk, grabbed G and two bags, while I ran/rolled the other two toward the doors.

Getting from the doors to the counter was the biggest circus. No one offered to help, so that's nice. We eventually made our way (remember, 6 bags, a car seat, a diaper bag, a back pack, & a toddler) to the counter, where there was PRAISE GOD no line. 

G at 20 months

Twenty months old! And the past month has been the busiest, and fullest month of her little life...at least that I can recall.

nearly 20 months old

 G has made some fun intellectual leaps. I would like to credit myself with teaching her, but I also know a lot of the credit has to go to her amazing brain.
G can identify an item of the correct color when asked, including choosing the correct crayon -- as in, she knows her colors (she actually learned them about 2 weeks ago)!! I'm so proud. (Sometimes she gets confused with similar shades; like a very purplish pink, etc...)
She can also identify a few letters and knows most simple shapes, too.

She is getting really good at coloring. She has made attempts to stay in the lines on color pages. My husband said once, "I think she's better than some 3 year olds!" I don't think that's really true, but she's certainly better than most 1.5 year olds. I ask her to "color cookie monster's hands" and she does, "color cookie monster's feet" and she does! Impressive, no?
I've not tried painting with her yet, after the debacle that was finger painting Christmas 2011. Perhaps soon.
She's still a puzzle master, and figures out peg puzzles for two year olds almost instantly. My mom got out a jigsaw type puzzle for three year olds, and that's still a bit above her. I assume she could figure it out if we practiced a lot (how to put pieces together, not that they'd make the right picture or all fit together, though, that takes some serious advancement).
She has a good imagination, especially for a kid so young. We play pretend a lot, and she loved playing with a doll house that my mother-in-law got out for her while we were there on Sunday. She also plays well independently.
I love watching her make connections around her, and understanding more and more about the world. She learned the word different this month, and from it's original use ('mom, I'd like a different song on the radio, please'), she's started using it for other things (different diaper, different drink, different toy). It's nice to see her translate meaning in appropriate situations.
G can predict what's coming in her favorite stories. This is indicated by making sounds, noises, or saying one of few words that she uses. For instance, in her book "Caps for Sale" she knows when the caps are about to be taken by the monkeys and she does this "where'd they go" motion, says "doh-day-doh" (where'd they go?), and pretends to look around...I encourage this by prodding her to tell me what happens next.
She understands all directions (has been doing so for a while) and has recently started pushing buttons to see how far she can go...so we've implemented time out.

Busy, Tired, Pregnant.

Those are my excuses for lack of blogging lately.

I am busy --- we are in the middle of a contract on a house in Kansas. If you have bought a house before, you know there's a lot that goes into it. I knew that going in, so I was prepared, but it doesn't change the fact that there's a lot to stay on top of. Electronic paperwork certainly helps though! I also think we've got a good real estate agent, lender, and realtor mother-in-law looking out for us (don't worry, they are 3 separate people). We've got the contract down, the inspection done, and are waiting on the appraisal.

Tales from our roadtrip, day 3

Or.... "The one in which we see the most beautiful spot on Earth"

Literally. I think that the views from high up on the mountain road, looking down upon Emerald Bay, Lake Tahoe, is seriously the most beautiful spot on Earth. At least that I've ever seen.

Lake Tahoe 2012

The best views are seen while you are driving, or you could precariously pull over on a teeny tiny strip of pavement to take a photo. We decided to stop for photographs at a nice, mostly-safe, vista point. It, however, has trees blocking some of the best views. It's still pretty. Do an Internet search of Emerald Bay Lake Tahoe photos and you'll see what I'm talking about. Just imagine seeing it in person, though, it's 10x better.

Tales from our roadtrip, day one {image heavy}

I wanted to title this "The one in which G foils my plan and screams for 2 hours, then falls asleep 10 miles from our destination" but it seemed pretty long. You now have a summary of day one of our road trip vacation to Lake Tahoe.

happy during the first hour

We had wanted to go to Lake Tahoe since we moved to the area. It's a super beautiful place, only 3 hours from where we live...how could we not go? I finally got my husband to okay spending some cash to go on a mini-vacation, booked our hotels, planned a few 'excursions,' and waited until the end of August.

Seven Quick Takes Friday ...err Saturday

Better late than never???

1) G started saying 'no-no' yesterday. Geeerreat! I honestly hoped/planned to make it to kindergarten before she learned the word. She knows what 'no' means, and generally respects it....but apparently she gets to use it herself now! Prior to today, she would simply shake her head to indicate she didn't like or want to do something. I could handle that, it was silent :-)
I LOL'd the first time she said it because it was so darn cute--momma mistake, I know, because know she loves saying it!

2) We made a super cool ramp for the few cars and trucks G has. It was so fun and she squealed the first time we put the vehicles down it--I'm proud of myself for coming up with a great idea to recycle the big box her Mega Bloks learning table came in (post to come about all the awesome stuff the sent us). It's the simple things in life :-)

3) This week was not so kind to a pregnant momma. First, there are two private stressors I've been dealing with. Then G slept miserably one night (as in, took two hours of screaming and then me holding her hand through the crib rails and 'shushing' her for 30 minutes + woke up from 3 -5 am to repeat the same process). I guess it was related to the runny nose she had for two days--I imagine she might have had a sore throat prior to it appearing, as adults get too. She's working on canines, so that's fun. Then yesterday I woke up to a seriously, I'll spare you the details I shared on my facebook, gross vomit attack in her crib. Suffice it to say it was everywhere and she went straight to the bath tub. I guess I'm thankful for my strong stomach. Then I'm feeling all down today...It's a sunny Saturday, but I can't shake the mood. Thankfully I'm attempting a choco-pick-me-up. Prayers appreciated.

4) Big Announcement....We are moving back to Kansas-----PRAISE GOD. Not that I hate it here or anything, in fact; the Bay Area is quite lovely (albeit expensive), but I certainly can't wait:

• to get back closer to family + friends
• snow in the winter (I really would have missed that)
• my comfort zone with most things
• cheaper prices
• have my husband around more
• oh, and Hy-Vee + Aldi

What's the number one thing I'll miss about CA?? Our gym. Hilarious, right? That play center is to.die.for. G absolutely loves it, the girls there love her, I love them, she has a ball, ugh...sad day. I'm going to miss letting her play there for an hour a day, 5 days a week. She's going to miss it.
I won't miss much else. I feel like we have been-there-done-that, with the big things in the Bay Area, especially after our mini-vacation to Lake Tahoe next week. Oh, I did miss out on Wine Country...but can't help that, I'm pregnant.

5) That should explain my extreme absence this week, minus the sponsored post for Famous Footwear's B2S sale. We've been house hunting online & trying to get ducks in a row for buying our first home. WHAT? So exciting, I KNOW! Realtor, check. Lender, check. Favorites list, check. Flights/car/sleeping arrangements for our house hunting weekend over Labor Day, check. For all the negative things this week, one major positive. Rejoice!

6) My sister sent baby boy + G some awesome Carter's clothes this week. It was a TOTAL surprise, and I'm really shocked she could keep it that way for so long! She said she ordered them on August 8...so I'm really impressed with her secrecy! It was so fun to open packages of adorable little boy clothes--plus two shirts for G. I kept saying 'oh my goodness!' like I was on Ellen or something, lol... Thank you boo!!!!!

7) This morning on our way back from the grocery store, G briefly closed her eyes while at a stop light, all sprawled out.... exhibit a)

To see more quick takes, head over to ConversionDiary.com

G's Swimming Lessons

First, I'm glad that we did them.
Second, they were pretty much a waste of money.
Sad, but true.

The instructor was really nice and did show us some things that I wouldn't have thought to do. She taught us various ways to hold our kids so they support/float more of their own body weight--including a handy way to get their legs out for kicking if they are still being clingy. She taught us to count them down from 3 and then say 'go!' before letting them do anything (so they learn to listen for our cues around water). She showed us how to practice blowing bubbles on the surface & also to use ping pong balls to give them something to focus on moving with their air.

Sweet 16

Month 16 flew by faster than any other month, mostly because my mom was here for two weeks and we went on our mini-trips. A few things changed (she decided she likes eggs now), but honestly, G seems pretty much the same. I guess that's because no major milestone was reached--like talking for real. On a fun note, I've recently started calling her Buttercup, or Butters for short. It's kind of silly...I really do not like South Park, but I know there is a little kid on there called Butters; who my husband says G kind-of resembles, with her bleach blonde hair.

Our Three Day Weekend

My husband had three days off, in a row, and it felt like a real vacation. We had planned to do some outdoorsy-naturey things, but G ended up getting sick...such is life.

We did go for a jog and to the park on Friday afternoon, because my husband got home from work a few hours early. We went to a new park on Saturday morning on our way to the Farmers' Market. I made my cheesecake in the afternoon and the other two played. We had awesome grilled steaks for dinner that night.

My husband marinated and grilled our fancy steaks.

thought my dad would enjoy a photo of our Bean Crock :-)

Sunday is when the illness struck. She had a runny nose when she woke up and church was borderline-WWIII. It actually started out really nice and I thought we were going to have an easy time....HA. Starting around the Sanctus she started having a meltdown, so I stepped to the side with her. I tried to go back to kneel...fail. My husband took her to the back and returned around the sign of peace. We made it to communion as a family but then I took her out because she started screaming. She kept screaming, despite me letting her walk around the fountain area outside. It was clear something was wrong. I blame her Prevnar shot that she got on Thursday. She always has a reaction to that shot. Always. And it's always a few days afterwards. I'll be writing a post about it soon. Long story short, Sunday was pretty much a bust. We all took a long nap in the afternoon and then went out to eat. Dinner out is always a treat, but this wasn't as much of a treat since she wasn't in the greatest mood.
Monday was going to be our day to hit up a regional park or see Mt. Diablo...but G was in a royal mood all morning. We considered ourselves lucky to get in an afternoon jog. We grilled out again and watched the latest episode of Mad Men (which was one of the craziest they've ever made, in my opinion).

does not like cheesecake, even if it has strawberries in it!

It was a really relaxing weekend...until G started being super crabby and sick. Hopefully she kicks it soon because I'm doing solo parenting at the end of the week while my husband has a business trip. I had plans to fill our time, but if she is still sick....let's just say I might go crazy from being home-bound with an irritable 15 month old.

Re-Re-Re Sleep Training

I'm currently right where I aimed NOT to be almost a year ago; sleep crazy as a toddler.
When G was three months old I started gentle sleep training and it worked pretty well. Then she got out of it and I re-sleep trained her. It took a while but eventually she got pretty good at putting herself to sleep. We kept going on this sleep crazy roller coaster until I finally just got fed up with what she was "supposed" to do. I decided to just roll with whatever happened--and that included letting her nurse to sleep if she so chose. Sure, there were occasions when she would not nurse to sleep, but over half the time she would, and that spelt trouble. I knew in the back of my mind that would bite me big time some day--and it now has.

Dreaded Coxsackie Virus

For being a breastfed kid, my daughter sure seems to get sick a lot. I know that is supposedly good for her immune system later in life, but it sucks for all of us right now. Big Time--capital B, capital T.

G had a runny nose last Sunday, developed a mild fever Wednesday evening, and a rash started kind of appearing Thursday night but really got going on Friday, and she slept absolutely horribly Thursday night into Friday (up every hour almost, including a 3 hour screaming fit from midnight to 3 am). Something was clearly wrong. The difference in her skin between Friday morning and Friday afternoon was really scary. I, of course, googled some things and determined she must have something like Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease. She hadn't seemed to have anything in her mouth, but everything else fit.

Thankfully her doctor's office was able to get her in Friday afternoon (20 minutes after I called). The doctor confirmed my suspicions, in a way, by saying that this was 99% certainly a Coxsackie Virus (causes HFMD). He wouldn't say 100% without a blood test, which wasn't really necessary because either way we just had to manage her symptoms.

Sleep Crazy

I am so tired. G is so tired. My husband is so tired. I'm sure our neighbors are tired.

This crazy sleep pattern is driving us all mad. I think I should turn my blog into a sleep-nonsense-pity-party blog instead of a semi-crunchy momma blog.

I've tried all tactics known to parents.

I've tried keeping her up to the point of exhaustion...20 minute nap, wakes up still tired.
I've tried taking her on errands to wear her out, 25 minute nap, still wakes up dog tired.
I've also tried keeping her on a sleep training schedule...doesn't work.
I've tried letting her cry it out, an hour later...still nothing.
I've tried not letting her nap, to see if it would help her sleep overnight--it didn't.
I've tried putting her to bed early to help her get more sleep...didn't work.

And yes, I've tried those things more than once, while giving them "time" to work. She is 11 months old and we have been on this sleep journey since 11 weeks. From 11 weeks to about 5 months, she was "sleep trained" just fine, but then it all went to hell in a hand basket despite me doing nothing different. There are rare occasions when she takes a 2 hour nap, but I don't know why. Everything can be the exact same to me, so it must be something in her head. I don't know. Night time is the same crazy chaos.

Today, when she woke up from her nap too early (20 minutes in) and too overtired, I decided to experiment.

She didn't know what to think when I calmed her down, laid her on her back, and went to sit in the chair in her room. At first she just laid there, then she got up and walked around the sides of her crib, then she played with her bear, then she threw her bear and pillow out, then she walked over to me (I paid her no attention), then she laid her head down on the corner of the crib walls next to me, then she reached for me, then she cried because she wanted me to pick her up (I ignored her), then she walked over to the other side of the crib and reached for her Winnie wall hanging (we usually say "hi" to him when we get up), then she screamed.... then I started the whole process over. It failed. So then I tried to "show" her how to nap by snuggling her bear on the floor by her crib.

I also learned that you cannot "teach" an 11 month old to sleep by pretending to nap on her floor.

Random things I saw by staying in her room:
She tried to walk from one side of the crib to the other, but fell 2 steps in (kinda cool).
She got absolutely PISSED when I laid next the crib, stuck my hand through the slats, and held her pillow down (because she kept trying to throw it out).


At my wits end,

Kaylene

ps. Babies her "age" are supposed to get 11-14 hours of sleep. She gets 11 if we are lucky. I worry what this does for her development, because she can't grow/retain memories if she doesn't sleep well enough. I know that in general, she is developing just fine; but at what point does she start falling behind?

Treasure every moment.

I had a lot of 'blog work' to get done during today's nap time...but I didn't do any of it.

I spent the time sobbing my eyes out (literally, my cheeks are so wet...not just saying that for dramatic effect) while reading about a woman from my home town. I kind of knew her when I was younger, through my church. Her mom was a teacher at my high school, and then Sarah became a teacher too.

She passed away on Monday at the age of 31. From colon cancer, after being diagnosed in 2008, just 5 weeks after giving birth to her second baby. Can you imagine??

I need Super Nanny.

Isn't there a show that is, or used to be, on TV called Super Nanny? I think the premise of the show is that a British woman, claiming to be a parenting 'expert,' comes to a family in need of some reforming.

We are that family. Nothing we do works.

I mean, sure, baby G is only 10.5 months old, but things are absolutely ridiculous around here. I really don't know what to do anymore. I even told my mom, "I am over it. I'm done being a mom." and I only kinda didn't mean it.

Earlier in her life my husband and I patted ourselves on the back for having 'such a good baby.' People loved seeing her and she was a really social baby. She played well. She was up for any adventure we went on.

At one point in her life, G slept through the night. Those were the good days. We were better parents, she was a happier baby; we were all able to actually enjoy our lives.

Night and Day {teething baby vs. non teething baby}

The difference between "Teething G" and "Non-Teething G" is absolutely like night and day. I could write this in paragraph form, but I think a list makes it more clear. Plus I got to teach myself some more html.

Teething G	Non Teething G
up 3 or more times a night; about 11 hours of total sleep for the whole day	sleeps "almost" through the night; about 13 hours of total sleep for the whole day
cries hysterically if I sit her down and start to do a chore	plays very well independently
sucks or gnaws her thumb often	rarely sucks her thumb at all
tries to stuff anything in her mouth to reach her side teeth	only puts objects in her mouth to learn about them
very, very irritable...tiniest thing will set her off	naps great and is much happier because of it
frequently pulls off while nursing	solid nursing sessions
wears us both out and the days seem sooo long	we enjoy our days and sometimes are even surprised at how fast they go
have to keep her distracted by moving quickly from one thing to another	attention span is long enough that we can practice a skill

I've heard that some babies don't really show signs of teething (apparently I was one of them), but I don't believe it!! My baby girl is a nightmare when she's cutting teeth. I know that parenting a preschooler brings its own set of challenges, and I love her as my bitty baby girl....but "done with teething" sounds SO appealing right now!

What are your experiences with teething children?

Seven Quick Takes (vol 7)

--- 1 ---

Sick, sick, sick.
This week brought an increase in the sickness department for baby G. She's developed a cough, which has worried me a lot. It is worse when she's trying to sleep (so that's no fun for anyone), but she is still mostly in good spirits and isn't lethargic. I'm keeping a close eye on her, because I know these things can go south very quickly for babies. Thankfully we are breastfeeding, so that's helping her immune system fight this. We are going on 2 straight weeks of some sort of illness, so say a special prayer for us, PLEASE.

--- 2 ---

Luckily, G's fourth tooth cut all the way through, so we got some relief in that department. FINALLY.
However, the fifth tooth is nearing the surface...so we'll see how long it takes for the TH (teething hell, in case you didn't read last week's 7QT) to return.

Irony. {or, and example of our sleep chaos}

The past 24 hours have been very, and I do mean very, ironic.

My daughter woke up from her nap yesterday at 12:30 pm, which is earlier than normal. We went about our afternoon of grocery shopping, getting the mail, and going for a quick walk.

We ate dinner (applesauce, cheese, puffs, and a tiny bit of chicken--nothing new), took a bath, and she was asleep by 7:05 pm. That is on the early side for her typical bedtime of 7:30 pm, but she was really tired since her nap ended so early.

While getting ready for bed ourselves, my husband and I discussed how it was finally time to start night weaning. We decided that if when she woke up before morning, he would go calm her down, if necessary...but under no circumstances would I go in the room. We've tried this approach before, but G screamed hysterically until I went in there, and I had always caved. She is almost 11 months old, though, and really does not need to be eating at night. Comforted? Maybe. Eating? No.